Wanted
by Amelie Gray
Summary: Bella was told she would never be a mother...then she found the baby on her doorstep. As she fights for the child that is the salve for her heart, she must also face the horrors of her past, and an ex-flame that left unhealed wounds. AU-Human.
1. Baby in the Basket

_Wanted/Amelie Gray_

_Beta (Twilighted): totoro_

_Story notes: I do not own Twilight. This story is also being posted on Twilighted. Please read it there if you want to see the banner :)_

~1~

"I'm sorry, Bella. There is nothing we can do."

I stared at Dr. Cullen, trying to read the expression on his young face. For some reason, none of this seemed real. I kept waiting for someone to leap out from behind the supply cabinet door and yell, "Candid camera!"

No one did.

But I still hoped. And that was the only reason how I was still able to speak clearly.

"I can't have children?" I whispered finally. "Never?"

Dr. Cullen shook his blonde head, his lips contorted into an odd frown that still fit his stunningly beautiful face. He didn't look any older than I was, late twenties or early thirties tops, but the understanding sadness in his eyes hinted at wisdom beyond physical age.

"I can't give you a definite answer, Bella," he sighed. "Cases of sterility differ with each woman and the experience that brought them to this point. In your…situation," he said delicately, pausing to watch carefully as I winced, one hand automatically rising to rub at the tender flesh above my womb, "there is a very slim chance that even surgery could correct the damage done to your uterus."

The words sank in, oozing and bitter like a slow-acting poison as they gripped around my heart. No children, never again. No children for Bella Swan. No little chubby cheeks to pinch or noses to wipe or tears to kiss away. Never.

Dr. Cullen spoke a little more, the appropriate condolences and the offers of any further help. I sat there, dumbly, only partially aware of the crevasse that was ripping my chest apart. The numbness was better than the pain. When you're numb, you can't feel anything at all, not sadness, not even anger.

When he gave his final suggestion, though, I riled up instantly.

"I will not adopt someone else's child."

He raised his eyebrow at me.

"It would be a very benevolent thing to bring another child into your heart, Bella. You can't always be bitter and shut yourself away from the rest of the world."

I shook my head, stubbornly.

"Carlisle, I don't want another child. I want my child."

But he was already sliding the brochures into my limp hand.

"Just think about it, Bella."

I let my fingers close around the shiny paper, with full intention to find a shredder on my way out of the hospital and get rid of them for good.

There would be no child in my house, and no strangers in my house.

And as I shut the truck door and drove slowly out of town, I had the full intention of leaving my heart behind, somewhere in those white, cold halls of the hospital, where it had been ripped out and dropped onto the floor.

The realization of what Carlisle had told me sank in somewhere around the time I was milking the cows. The old barn was warm and pleasantly dim, the only light being from the lantern I left dangling above my head. And yet, I still could feel that clinging chill, in my bones, around my heart, and, despite the fact that Norah Jones was crooning in the background at a comfortable volume, the words were still echoing in my head.

_Sterile…your condition…very slim chance…not even surgery…_

It all boiled down to one thing: being useless. I was useless. My body was worthless for even the simple womanly gift of bearing a child. The self-hatred built inside me, and I didn't realize my body was shaking, or the tears were rolling down my cheeks and into the bucket of milk. My hands weren't moving any more, still and clenched in my lap.

_Can't you do anything right?_

_Look, you can't even walk in a straight line without tripping over sheer air._

_Your clothes are so frumpy. I'm ashamed to have you with me in public._

_**SMACK!**_

The sudden crack of Donna's tail through the air made me cry out and fall back off the stool. Shaken, I collected myself off the floor, wiping straw off my back and the tears off my dirt-streaked cheeks.

I had promised myself once, faced by a knife on my stomach and a crazed man sitting on my legs, that I would never cry again---after years of humiliation and pain, what else could there be to shed precious tears over? Apparently, there were other things, as my lower abdomen reminded me by twinging slightly, making me wince.

I gathered up my lantern and my bucket of milk, giving a pat on Donna's rump and a soft, "Sweet girl," for being patient with me. She mooed pleasantly. As I headed out into the yard, I was fully determined to go inside, turn on the tube and drown away my sorrows with an old black-and-white. I might have gone inside then. I would have grabbed up my jacket off the stool, and went on inside, set on my path of loneliness and despair.

But, I stood there for a minute more, and then, I heard it.

At first, I thought it was the mewl of one of Lily's kittens, fallen out of one of the rafters again where she'd placed them for safekeeping. But then, it sounded again, and I froze. My heart seemed to stop beating for a moment, and then started again, loudly, faster, like a locomotive was about to break through the wall and smash right into my body.

It couldn't be. I didn't have neighbors for miles, and I was sure that my reputation ensured that none, save perhaps the good doctor Carlisle Cullen and his sweet wife Esme, would bother to drop in on me at this hour in the evening. No, my thoughts must be deceiving me.

But there it was again: high and weak and strained, pleading for me to come and answer its cry…

…The cry of a baby.

Not any baby, a_ human_ baby…the type of baby I had just shed tears for, the type of baby I could never have. My hand rested over my bruised womb again, as my ears strained to hear where the sound was coming from, for some sort of proof that the strain of the past three years hadn't snapped my fragile mind once and for all.

The cry came again, softer and more pained this time, and I tentatively stepped towards it, out of the barn doors and onto the frost-glazed grass. Another five steps, around to the back porch, and up the rickety stairs, and…

I stopped short.

There was a wicker basket, wrapped up in old quilts and laden with soft knitted blankets, right there in front of me, in the center of the porch, where, only a half-hour before, I had stepped out on my trip to the barn. I hadn't heard anyone come, and I knew that the old boards would have served as a fair warning, so how…

A keen rose from the depths of the basket, then, and I couldn't think of anything else---

---Because, there, damp-eyed and red-cheeked, with a frown that made my heart sink as soon as I saw it, was the baby.

A real, breathing baby, something that definitely couldn't be conjured up by my imagination.

Just in case, I blinked once, and then twice. Then, I pinched myself.

"Ouch!"

I wasn't dreaming, and the little bundle of joy still sat there, lips trembling.

For a moment, I was planning a quick trip to the end of the driveway, to look up and down the road and try to see if the prankster who had left it was still around so I could give him a good one in the eye. Obviously, the old biddies in the town had caught sight of me leaving the gynecology ward of the hospital with the adoption papers bulging from my purse, and tongues had wagged as always, leaving me as the brunt of the joke.

But then, I looked into its eyes, and I was lost.

It---simply because I couldn't tell what sex it was---blinked up at me through tear-rimmed eyelashes. The baby had wide, blue eyes and a fringe of oddly reddish-brown hair covered by a small pilot's cap. Though it was early December, the baby was only wearing a thin onesie and gauzy-looking socks over the top of its feet. Still, cold and nearly purple from its exertions, I still thought it was the most beautiful child I'd ever seen.

No. I shook my head quickly to clear it. What was I thinking? I could not get involved with this. I would return the baby to the sheriff and let him handle it. There was no way I would allow myself to get attached to a child that wasn't even mine. Wasn't that what Carlisle and I had argued over earlier?

The baby mewled then, and I had no choice to look down at it---masochistically, of course, because I wanted another glance into those beautiful china eyes. It was shivering, the poor thing, and, almost unconsciously, I reached down and lifted it into my arms.

It was wet, that much I could tell as soon as its diapered bottom touched my sleeve. Any longer, and it would get a rash, and I knew enough of the Sheriff to know that an old bachelor wouldn't know anything about the finer details of caring for a baby.

I bit my lip in thought. This would be bad. I was setting myself up for heartbreak for caring for this child. What if I returned it and was told it didn't have any parents to be found? Would I be willing to just walk away and let it go on to some other stranger who might not treat it as well?

I sighed. Too many thoughts, and too little energy. With a last, longing look at my truck, I cradled the baby in my arms, trying my best to shield it from the wind in my jacket, and stepped inside the house, shutting the door behind me.

I kicked off my boots at the door, carelessly, instead of taking the time to line them up under my coat rack like I always did, and stumbled inside with my precious cargo. When I reached my small living room, I tried to set the baby down on the couch so I could start up a fire, but it complained so that I ended up supporting it on my shoulder.

Once or twice, I guiltily buried my nose in its soft, downy hair, and it murmured pleasantly in response. It didn't smell of sour milk or cheap baby lotion like other babies I'd encountered; it was a rather warm, soothing smell, a mixture of fresh lilies and a splash of spring air. I could have sat there forever, in front of the fire I'd managed to awkwardly strike up with one arm, and held that baby to my chest. It fit there, like it was meant to be there---

---Like it was meant to be mine.

But of course, that wasn't possible.

In a box of old scraps Mrs. Warlow, the leader of the Quilting Bee in town, had offered me for mending and patching purposes, I located an old piece of soft cotton that could substitute as a diaper, and threw the wet one away. That was how I figured out it was a girl. She couldn't be more than five months old, large enough to be away from her mother for more than a few hours, but not old enough to eat solid food.

"You're a hungry little thing, aren't you?" I cooed at her, feeling like a fool---a lovesick, adoring fool---watching her small pink lips suck greedily as I used a dropper to feed her warm milk. She lapped it off the end greedily, like she hadn't been fed in weeks. She was small for my estimated age of her, and weak, and tired. She fell asleep as soon as I took the dropper from out of her mouth.

I just stood there, still in my dirty jeans and old sweatshirt, just staring down at her as she smiled in her sleep. My mind was reeling over what had just happened in the past half-hour. I came home, fully prepared to spend the rest of my life childless, and found a baby on my back porch. Obviously, I had lost my mind, and was probably happily babbling in an asylum somewhere in the Midwest.

But if this was real, what did it all mean? Was this baby a gift to me? I knew enough of myself to know, though, that God would probably just dump me in the depths of Hell, instead of fulfilling my greatest wishes.

Had she been kidnapped? For a moment, I felt a twinge of fear, which dissipated when I told myself that no kidnapper would have left an old quilt with the child---and besides, if they wanted her to be kept well, they wouldn't have left her at the house of a loveless hermit who would just drop her off to the authorities and let them handle it.

The authorities…Sheriff Woodlock!

To my dismay, when I eagerly glanced at the clock, I realized the officers would've all headed to the Woodlocks right about now. It was Ellen's fried chicken night; no one in their right mind, least of all the young, mostly unmarried policemen of our good town, would miss out on a fresh homemade dinner. I would just have to leave a message and hope he was prepared.

"Looks like you're staying here tonight, baby girl," I told her as she slept. Her lips quirked, but there wasn't a sign that she'd heard me.

"Do you have a name?"

There was no answer, and I sighed. I really was losing my head.

"You know," I said softly, "when I was going to have my baby, I wanted to name her Carly, if she was a girl, after my daddy. His name is Charlie, and he's the best police chief East of the Rockies…Even though he'd never admit it, he liked the idea of a granddaughter, so…I don't think he'd mind if I called you Carly, would he?"

She slept on, peacefully, but a dimple formed in her left cheek as I spoke. I smiled back.

"Good Night, Carly."


	2. Coveting

~2~

_Thou shalt not covet._

The words were there, hanging above my head in bright yellow thread, a guard against sin and a constant reminder of the hellish three weeks I'd spent in a Methodist Summer Camp. Renée had been head over heels for the young minister, but even after that brief fling had fizzled, she'd insisted I keep the tapestry I'd worked so hard on.

"It's a good reminder," she told me. "For when things get hard. Sometimes you just want to have something, but it isn't yours. C'est la vie."

I stared at the banner over the fireplace, and the weight of Carly's small body on my chest seemed even heavier.

_Thou shalt not covet, Bella Swan._

"I know," I whispered, burying my nose in her hair. "But why does it have to be so hard?"

There was no answer, just a soft, whispy baby snore from Carly. I sighed, shifted and looked at the clock, keeping my eyes away from the banner this time. It was seven-thirty…another slow, dull hour and a half until Woodlock finally roused himself and drove down to the old homestead, if he checked his messages.

And then, I would have to let Carly go.

I looked down at her, feeling a pang as she sighed and snuggled into my side. The small cap on her head had slid farther back, exposing a fringe of brown hair that didn't look too lighter than my own. She was absolutely beautiful, despite the dingy clothing I hadn't gotten a chance to replace and the slight gauntness of her body. In that moment, I wanted her more than I'd wanted anything else in the world.

Even to breathe.

_Thou shalt not covet, Bella. No matter what, thou cannot covet. _

By nine o'clock, I'd given up on Woodlock ever showing up, and set on into my daily routine. At least, I tried to. One thing I hadn't counted on was Carly being a clingy baby---an extremely clingy baby, the kind that cries when you even imply putting them down in a bassinet or on a couch. As a result, I gimped around with her on my hip for the first part of the morning.

When it came to milking the cows, I gave in, placing Carly in the center of a long white sheet before I tied it under my breasts and around my waist so she rested on my back. It was enough support that I didn't need to worry about misaligning her neck or spine, and she gave satisfied coos as she looked around the barn.

At first, it was slightly awkward, realizing that I was no longer in self-isolation. I had to censor myself a few times, once when I slammed my fingers in the barn door as I panicked and thought Carly was slipping off my back, and another when a butterfly glided by her little fingers and she laughed.

It was the most beautiful sound, and I knew it would make it all the more painful for me when I had to let her go.

The phone rang at ten-thirty. I was sitting on the front porch with Carly spread out on one of the old quilts. She gurgled happily as I dropped milk into her eager mouth.

"That's a good girl," I cooed. "You're really hungry, aren't you?"

The phone rang then, and any possible reply from Carly was cut off. I gasped, nearly letting the dropper fall into Carly's open mouth. When it rang again, I scooped her up and darted into the house, grabbing up the phone on the third ring.

Of course, then it took one minute to calm Carly down and assure her that my sudden movements didn't mean actual danger. When I finally answered the phone, my voice was flustered, and more than a little annoyed.

"Hello?"

"Bella?"

I sighed, shifting Carly in my arms. It always surprised me, the misanthropist that I was, that I felt so easy when I heard Woodlock's voice. He was one of the only people in town I could actually talk to on a grander scale than greetings and comments about the weather. I supposed it was because he reminded me so much of Charlie, an older, grandfatherly Charlie.

"Oh, hi Sheriff."

He sighed too.

"I'm sorry I got your message so late…"

"No, no, it's fine," I lied. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing exactly…" He paused, and then said quickly, "but I won't be coming out to the farm today."

For a moment, I couldn't figure out what emotion to feel first: relief, yes, because I wouldn't have to let go of Carly…at least, not yet. But then of course, there was the guilt.

_Thou shalt not covet._

"But what am I supposed to do with Carly now?" I demanded, albeit desperately.

"Carly?" He echoed, bewildered.

I flushed.

"Um…I kind of named her…"

He sighed harshly.

"Bella, you shouldn't get attached. We're already combing through the missing and lost records and have at least three little girls that might be this child."

The words were true but acidic on my heart.

"I know," I sighed.

His voice softened.

"But, hey---I'll be sending out someone to check on her in an hour or so…ya know, just to get her description and everything…"

I rubbed at my damp eyes.

"Okay…who, Mike?"

If there was anything I hated in the world enough to murder, it might just be Deputy Michael Finn Newton, Jr. He never seemed to take "No" as an answer for any of the twelve dates that he'd asked me on since I'd arrived in town. As a result, I'd been ambushed, tricked and once, even kidnapped, to be at the date on time, by the well-meaning townspeople---probably wanting to get rid of him so their own daughters wouldn't be threatened. He was a pervert, not in the worst sense of the word…just the type of guy you want to mutilate halfway into a movie so he won't stop groping at you.

Sheriff Woodlock chuckled.

"Come on, now, Bella, I'm not that heartless. No, it's not a deputy. I'm sending up a social worker."

At first, the words didn't compute. "Social worker" and small town don't actually go together, and I was trying to figure out whether or not Woodlock had finally gotten a bullet in the head.

"A social worker," I repeated dumbly.

"Yes, a social worker."

Woodlock was enthusiastic.

"Carlisle Cullen's adopted son, to be exact, fresh out of school. I'm surprised that he picked such a small town to try out his internship period on, but we're glad to have him. He's a nice young man, you'll like him."

I ignored the familiar matchmaking hint in Woodlock's tone and pressed on.

"Is that actually necessary? I mean, what the hell, Sheriff? I haven't been abusing her or anything while she's been under my care. Can't Eric or Tyler come up and take a look at her or something?"

I honestly didn't have the time or patience for a stranger to come barging in on my property and throwing false accusations at me…about a baby that wasn't even really mine.

Carly whimpered, and I shifted her again so she could look out the window. The Sheriff seemed to be lecturing me, but there wasn't much I was gathering from it.

"…from the rest of the world. Bella, I know your story, and I know I'm probably the only person in this town that knows what you've been through and why you close yourself off from everyone else. I know, and I'm sorry that a young, good girl like you went through so much. But, still, that doesn't mean you'll ignore everyone who tries to help you…"

"Sheriff," I cut over him, "he can come. Just this once. You don't have to convince me about that."

I paused, and then added, "But I don't want any disrespect. He'll ask questions that are clear-cut and to the point, and do not imply anything about my own personal nature."

"I wouldn't expect anything else, Bella, and believe me, I'm only sending him because I liked him myself."

"I know," I sighed.

"Good luck, Bella."

There was a click, and I sighed, hanging up the phone.

So much for my peaceful mood for the day.

I heard the car engine nearly five minutes after I hung up with the Sheriff. Carly was napping, finally, and I was trying to make myself a late brunch of sausages and fresh eggs.

"Coming!" I called as I heard the first knock on the door. I didn't let go of the egg in my hand though. I would pull this out as long as possible. _Thou shalt not covet_ didn't have any rules about delaying time when you knew you had to give the baby back.

I washed my hands slowly, lathering the soap until it was a thick layer of white bubbles on my hands, and then ran the water at the lowest pressure possible. The knocks came again in quick succession, loud and impatient.

"Yes, yes, I'm coming," I called again, irritably, yanking a dishtowel from the rack next to the sink as I ran to the door. For a moment, I paused and looked in the wide mirror next to the coat rack. I looked frazzled, my hair all over the place, eyes rimmed with purple and utterly exhausted.

I looked like a mother.

With that painful thought still in mind, I opened the door.

"Hello, Mr.…"

I paused, and just stared. I couldn't even say what sort of expression I had on my face as I looked at the last man on Earth I would have expected on the stoop of my little farmhouse, today of all days…the man that I thought I'd never have to look at again in my life.

He was still the most beautiful creature I'd ever laid eyes on, tall and lanky and pale…and the silky, odd bronze-colored hair tumbling around his ears, uncut and untamed, the hair I used to drag my fingers through in the heat of the moment…the hair I yanked at the night he left me, wanting him to stay with me, keep me forever.

He smiled.

"Hello, Bella. I'm Edward Cullen, the social worker."


	3. Unwelcome Reunion

~3~

Edward chuckled as he watched Carly squirm enthusiastically in her Moses basket.

"Energetic little girl, isn't she?"

I didn't answer. I coldly eyed him from the small dusty red divan I'd tugged towards the largest window. The cup of tea I'd been nursing leaned precariously against my bandaged knuckles. I was in no mood to be hospitable, or kind, and by the smirk that tugged at Edward's lips as he turned his black eye back down to my little ward, he knew it.

I still was shocked at my own audacity in punching Edward---Edward, the man who, I'd promised myself so long ago, with tear-filled eyes and my hands clutching at my burning chest, I'd never hurt, even though he'd hurt me. And yet, when I'd seen him standing there, well-kept and handsome and standing right in the middle of my broken-down porch like he owned it, my fist tightened…and it flew.

As though he could read my mind, Edward turned towards me, with a concerned glance.

"Does it still hurt?"

I realized vaguely that my hand was rubbing my knuckles. The white cloth was stained with tea as the cup sloshed back and forth with the movement. My jeans were damp too, and I vaguely wondered if I looked like I wet myself…an even better impression to put on my ex-boyfriend after four years.

"Why are you here, Edward?" I whispered. I didn't look up at him, but I could feel him still. Carly whimpered.

After a moment, he spoke quietly. His response was, as usual, carefully constructed and automatic.

"Sheriff Woodlock assigned me to a case involving an abandoned female child, left on the property of a Miss Isabella Marie Swan, twenty-three, and the legal technicalities thereof."

His voice was composed. I knew there was more. There was never simplicity with Edward Cullen.

"Don't lie, Edward."

My voice was dead.

"You knew who it was."

My voice still couldn't raise above a whisper. Emotions coursed through my brain, my blood, making me numb. I didn't know what to address first: the anger; the, rather pointless, betrayal; or, most overpowering of all, the pain.

He was here. He stood here, only a few feet away from me.

Four years too late…

"Yes, Bella," he said softly. "I knew it was you."

The buzzing in my head reached a high peak, and I winced as I closed my eyes. When I opened them, Edward's green eyes were barely a foot from my face. He looked concerned---but was that a façade? Could I trust him to tell me the truth? I still couldn't even understand why he was here.

"You promised me. You promised me you'd never bother me again."

Edward's eyes became pained.

"Bella…"

He reached out a hand to me, but I flinched away.

"What are you doing here, Edward?"

My voice was louder this time, throbbing with anger. Carly fell silent. I wondered how much babies understood about arguments.

Edward shook his head, his eyes tightening.

"Bella…"

I raised my hand.

"You know what? I have the feeling I don't even want to know."

"Bella, please, will you just…"

Abruptly, the pressure was broken by Carly's sudden cry. Apparently, she did realize there was an argument going on over her head. I dropped the cup on the chair, quickly rushed over, pulling her out and patting her against my shoulder.

"Okay, baby…shh, it's okay…don't cry, honey."

She whimpered, burying her face in my shirt. I rocked her back and forth, gently, my eyes still on Edward. His face was turned away from me, head bent in a familiar position I'd so often seen before. He was beating himself up inside. Carly calmed down, and I put her back in her basket with a final kiss on the forehead before I carefully sat back down, still watching Edward like he was a wild animal.

He spoke slowly.

"Bella, I am not here for some twisted purpose to ruin your life. I honestly didn't know before Woodlock told me your name that you were the young woman I had to visit. If I had known that my presence would accept you, I wouldn't have come."

His voice sounded honest, caring, like the young Edward Masen I'd known before---the Edward who'd loved me.

I shook my head to clear it, and then, suddenly, I stood up, gripping my empty cup tightly.

"Some tea, Mr. Cullen?"

My voice was brusque and hard, and I knew Edward could hear it. He looked confused.

"Some tea sounds nice," I pressed. "And then you can get right to work, the sooner the better."

I placed emphasis on the last sentence. Edward's eyes grew even more confused.

"Bella…" He said, gently, stepping forward with one hand outstretched. "You don't understand. I'm not here to hurt you…"

"Please," I interrupted, "Call me Miss Swan."

The stage had been set, the wall carefully laid in place brick by brick, and we both knew it. For a moment, Edward looked almost sad, and then his eyes hardened, and he pulled his back up.

"Of course, Miss Swan," he said, smiling tightly, "tea would be lovely."

And, as I swept out of the room, and he leaned over Carly, both of us avoiding the other's eyes, I wondered if I'd done the right thing in pushing him away.

But, then again, I hadn't been the one to deliver the first shove.

LINE BREAK

Edward sighed and leaned back from where he bent over Carly. Exhausted, he pushed a hand through his messed hair, looking at me with dim green eyes.

"Well, it's obvious that she's been on her own for a while, at least mentally…whoever raised her wasn't feeding her properly, and I see a few bruises on her…ahem…backside," he added delicately, "Perhaps by especially hard handling. If these people had plans to abandon her, I doubt they would abuse her so violently. They would have already gotten rid of her before then…"

He trailed off, and I realized my eyes must have been horrified. I tried to compose my expression.

"Does she match any of the missing reports you brought?"

He shook his head.

"Not one. Still, though, maybe her absence hasn't been noticed yet. This could be an inside job; there've been quite a few cases where a nanny kidnaps a child for her own vendetta---perhaps poor working conditions or a lack of salary? We might have to check a little bit closer to the city limits."

I stared at him, trying to digest the words. He gave me a look.

"That would take days, Be-" He cut himself off and sighed. "It'll be a while before we can call in some expert from the city, or one of my colleagues to back me up in the legal process."

"So what happens during that time?"

He shrugged, standing up and sliding his notebook back into his pocket.

"We wait."

"What will happen to Carly?" I pressed impatiently. "Where will she go?"

_Please don't let her stay with me, please don't let her stay with me…_

Edward gave me a knowing look.

"It's a bit late into the process to try and find another caretaker…although, when I was heading up here, Jessica Stanley and her mother seemed eager at the thought of a child. I don't think they would mind having Carly for a week or so."

I bristled. I could just see Jessica, pressing out her non-existent cleavage and batting her eyelashes at Edward---not that I cared---trying her best to convince him that she was the best guardian for a child that, knowing her, would most likely end up underfed and nearly dead by the end of the week.

"Personally though," he continued, "I think it would better to leave her with you. She seems to like it here."

We both glanced at the little wicker basket, and the tiny, glowing face sleeping so peacefully. My heart ached. Yes, she did like it here. I liked it here, with her, just the two of us…but I couldn't get attached. I had given my heart away so many times in my life, only for it to be returned squashed and broken and barely usable.

But, the idea of Jessica Stanley getting her manicured nails on that baby girl…

"You can think about it," Edward said quietly, standing up to leave. I didn't stand with him. My mind was still engrossed with the idea of keeping Carly for a while longer.

_Temporary happiness, or a permanently broken heart…_

Ugh. Sometimes I really thought I needed a shrink.

"Bella."

I looked up, a protest forming on my lips before it died when I saw the intensity of Edward's eyes. For a moment, we just gazed at each other, and suddenly I could feel the trickle of electricity through my veins.

_Edward's electricity._

"Take care of yourself, Bella," he said softly. "I'm here if you need me."

And then, he was gone, and I allowed myself to sink down on the couch, wrapping my limp arms around my knees. My life had just gone from curious to curiouser, and I had no idea what to expect next.

Should I be setting out the fine china for Santa Clause next?


	4. Telling the 'Rents

~4~

After my brief little encounter with Edward, life pretty much settled down. A discussion with Woodlock confirmed that I was to be Carly's temporary mother, while he conducted a search in the nearby counties, as well as sending up a report to the city.

No one, especially me was thinking of what would happen if Carly's parents were found...or, if they found that there were no parents at all.

Carly was teaching me first-hand that motherhood meant a whole new routine. Where my old life had comprised of chores and self-wallowing, now I was forced to get up early and get the barn work away fast before my little angel was awake and ready to play.

I learned fast that Carly enjoyed it most when I carried her in my arms. The makeshift sling just wouldn't cut it. I also learned that she enjoyed the cow's milk more than the complimentary formula that Woodlock had dropped off for her.

(Edward had volunteered to do it, but I made it clear that if that man stepped foot anywhere on my premises, he should expect leaving without a precious part of his anatomy.)

I was falling harder and harder for life with Carly, and I couldn't imagine a future without her right then, snuggled up in my arms with a bottle to her mouth. She was mine. There wasn't anything else to it...

...Except of course, the fact that she wasn't really mine to keep, but I would come to that bridge when I had to.

I'd had to tell Charlie, of course, simply because of the fact that TRAITOR Woodlock had gone ahead and called him. It was an unspoken rule between us that if there was something important to be said to Charlie, it was me who would do the saying. But, there he went and hyped Charlie up so that he called me right off the bat. I supposed he knew that I would try and put it off for as long as possible.

One thing I knew about Charlie: he wasn't worried about causing a confrontation. I hated confrontations.

"What's this I hear about a baby, Bella?"

I winced at his loud volume, giving my baby girl a cursory glance out of the corner of my eye. She was in my lap, cooing as she turned a large stuffed block over and over in her little hands. Apparently, her pseudo-granddaddy's blustering didn't bother her.

Being the Cowardly Lion I am, it totally twisted my tongue up.

"There was nowhere else for her to go, Dad," I snapped back finally. "What did you expect me to do?"

"Give her to that Stanley family. They could have taken care of her."

"I wanted her," I bit out. "I wanted her to stay with me."

He could hear the venom in my voice, and he sighed, deflating a little.

"I know, sweetheart, it's just...I want you to be happy. After everything with...that happened last year, and how well you were adjusting, I didn't want this little girl to go dredging up things in your mind that should be left buried."

I sighed too. Try as I might, I couldn't stay angry at Charlie. He was trying to protect me, like I was trying to protect Carly. A smile briefly crossed my face as I realized how much parenthood was changing me.

"I know, Dad. Believe me, Carly is what I need. She makes me happy."

I guess he could hear the smile in my tone.

"So what exactly does this little granddaughter of mine look like?"

I couldn't help the smile by that point. Charlie was won over. One bridge was crossed.

"She's beautiful, Dad," I gushed, shifting Carly on my hip so that I could get a better grip on the phone. "She has this curly hair, almost like yours, and these big sweet blue eyes that just make you want to smile back at her...and she's such a good baby. She doesn't cry---except when she has to get her diaper changed, but that's it. She's just..."

I realized I ran out of words to describe her, and ended lamely, "Wonderful."

Charlie chuckled.

"You sound just like your mom when we had you, Bells."

There was a bittersweet edge to his voice, and for a moment I couldn't help but feel guilty for making him relive the past. So I forced a laugh.

"I don't think I was that good of a baby."

"Believe me, honey, you were. The best."

He still sounded wistful, but then he laughed guiltily.

"Um, Bells?"

"Yeah, Dad?"

"Speaking of Reneé, I think you might just want to go ahead and give her a call."

"Why would I..."

I gasped.

"Dad! You did _not_ go and tell Mom!"

"Now, honey..."

I hung up on him. Then, I began to bite at my nails. Carly gave me a curious look, but I couldn't make myself calm down. This was bad. This was very bad. I should've asked Charlie when he talked to her because that would've given me more time to formulate a plan. I could only hope she and Phil weren't on a plane to Denver.

I picked up the phone and gingerly picked in the number.

"'Lo?"

"Hey, Phil," I said, relieved to hear my stepdad's voice. "How's things?"

His voice became overly enthusiastic.

"Bells? We're good...how 'bout you, honey?"

"It's bad, isn't it?" I whispered.

"To be honest, I just think she's mad that Charlie knew first," he whispered back. "Don't worry, sweetheart, I don't think it's that bad."

I gulped.

Phil raised his voice again.

"Honey, Bells is on the phone for you!"

"Thanks for giving me time to react," I grumbled.

"Love you too, Bella," he chuckled, and then there was a thump as my mom wrenched the phone out of his fingers.

"Isabella Marie Swan, when were you going to tell me that I had a granddaughter?"

So maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought.

"Bella! Isabella, if you don't answer me, I'm buying tickets to come and see you right away!"

"I thought you were angry," I managed.

"That Charlie knew first? Of course! But, honestly, honey, I'm also a little irritated you haven't sent pictures yet. So, what does she look like? Does she have enough clothes? Oh! I spotted the cutest little jumper in Carter's yesterday..."

So Reneé was happy. There was only one more person that needed to hear about Carly...but to be honest, I wasn't as worried about how he was going to take Carly. I was worried about when I was going to expect him on my doorstep with brass knuckles in hand.

"Yo," he greeted me as he picked up the phone.

"Hey, Jake."

My eyes were squinched shut, hoping for the best. If I had to place family members on a scale of least scariest to scariest, Reneé would totally be shadowed by Jake. An ex-gang member that still bore the scars and tattoos of a harsh underground life, Jake could kill a person and have their body in a burning dumpster before you could blink. He was the type of person you wanted on your side, and not against you.

It was a good thing for me that he was my adoptive brother.

"Bells!" He cheered. "Hey, honey. What's up? How come you haven't called me?"

I summoned up a weak laugh.

"And interrupt your Dartmouth life of debauchery and parties? No thanks."

It was still a shock to me that detention regular Jake had turned his act around and gotten accepted into an Ivy League school...and my own alma mater, no less.

"C'mon," he gave another husky chuckle. "Like half-dressed girls rank over my big sister. Come on, Bells, you might as well spit out what's wrong. I can hear it in your voice, and you don't want me to call Charlie."

I sighed. Jake was too intuitive for his own good. I might as well just go with honesty being the best policy and spit it out in one go.

"Congratulations Jacob. You're an uncle."

There was silence, and then Jake exploded.

"What? You actually went back to that...Bella, I can't believe you! I'm calling Charlie!"

"Jake!" I shouted over him. "I didn't go back to him! Can you just shut up and listen?"

"You have five seconds," he growled.

I gave him the story in a nutshell, skipping over the part where Edward was the social worker currently handling Carly's "case". No need to get the guy more worked up than he already was. I knew I would have to tell him, though. I'd promised him, years ago when he was the only one left to pick up the pieces. I owed it to him.

"Okay," Jake said, more calmly. "You should've just told me that instead of letting me jump to conclusions."

I snorted.

"Believe me, Jake. You can do that perfectly all on your own."

His voice grew lighter.

"But seriously, a niece? Couldn't you have gotten me a nephew that could actually wrestle without complaining about breaking a nail?"

I flushed. He never was going to let me live that down.

"Shut up, Jacob Black."

He laughed for a few moments, and I laughed too. It was hard not to. I loved Jake for that. He could make me cheer up without even trying. My mood soured though, when I realized what I was about to tell him.

"Jake?"

"Yeah Bells?"

"There's something I have to tell you," I whispered. "And you have to promise me to listen to the whole story and not get mad."

He was surprisingly composed the whole time I spewed out the Edward incident. He did interject with a few questions, but otherwise that was it.

"And he's stayed away from you since then?" He questioned at the end.

"Yes," I responded, relieved that he was taking it all so well.

He sighed, and I could almost imagine his russet hand pushing through his long black hair.

"Look Bells. I don't really like this whole situation. That Masen boy is not good news. You'd do best to call Woodlock and ask for a restraining order or something."

"No!" I almost shouted. "Jake, do you have any idea what that would do to me? If Edward is still the same clever boy I knew back in Forks High, he'll totally use it as a way to expose the entire affair!"

"So he knows about what happened?"

"No," I gritted, "but if he digs far enough, he will. I don't want that. I'm happy, Jake, for once in a long time. Can't I stay that way for a bit?"

It was silent. I could hear Jake's breathing, and behind him the rhythmic snore of his roommate, Seth.

"Bells," he said finally, "if that man so much as breathes near you or Carly, I want you to call me."

"I will."

I crossed my fingers. No need to unleash an overprotective Quileute on the unsuspecting townspeople. My reputation would never recover.

"Okay," he sighed. "Love you, Bells."

"Love you too. Lay off the beer and dope, okay?"

"Shut up."

I smiled as he hung up. For some odd reason, my heart felt lighter. The sun was shining, my baby was in my arms, and my family approved of Carly.

What could go wrong?


	5. Visitor from the Past

~5~

The truck was out of gas. Carly was on her last diaper. I was going to need something stronger than canned coffee if her colic kept up.

There was no use for it. It seemed like I was going to have to go into town.

As a rule, I made a point of shunning frequent visits to Darlton. Ever since my arrival late last December, I had been bombarded by old biddies and young gossips alike. Everyone wanted to know the story of Isabella Marie Swan, the young woman who bought the abandoned Joseph farm and frequently got letters from Hale and Hale Law Offices in New York. Even the old codger who ran the mail office spilled my news to the gossip mills.

When I was forced by necessity to visit town, I was constantly watched---under the guise of friendly conversations and the occasional overzealous smile, of course, but watched none the less. Somehow I felt like everyone was waiting for me to suddenly yank off my heel, throw it at Mike Newton's head, and flash a badge like a Bond Girl or something.

Sometimes I wished my past was that simple.

I kissed Carly's adorable button nose, and then took advantage of her distraction to stuff her into the baby carrier---another gift from Woodlock. She wasn't pleased, but she would have to deal. I wasn't going to have her sitting in my lap all the way into town. That would only give Jessica Stanley another reason to insist that she and her mom get custody over my little angel.

Honestly I didn't know why it mattered so much to them. Lauren Stanley's life was made up of hitting on older men, wearing too much makeup and gossip. Her daughter wasn't much better, save that you added in her stupid, wayward fiance Mike Newton. The idea of all three of them and a baby practically screamed a Child Services investigation.

Trying not to think of the Three Stooges and any possible interaction with any of them, I switched my old flannel shirt for my jacket, picked up Carly's carrier and headed out to the trunk. The loud boom of the engine disturbed Carly, and it took me another minute to calm her down before I could actually slide into the cab myself.

It took me only a mile before I hit the outskirts of Darlton, and another few feet before I was at Chucky's. Chucky's was the town's only gas station slash bodega. It was owned by the Montezes, a three-brother family of Mexican immigrants that barely spoke English and had wide smiles. They were actually rather sweet, albeit eccentric. All three of them were saving money to bring their three wives.

To my relief, it was the youngest, Marco, who came out of the small convenience store. I preferred him over his brothers simply because he was the quietest. His brother Felix often joked that their father (God bless his poor drunken soul) had to propose to his wife for him, simply because he didn't feel like speaking in a full sentence. Knowing Felix though, it was probably an exaggeration.

"Hola, Marco," I gave him a small smile. He nodded, and then looked towards the bundle on the seat next to me. He raised one eyebrow. I sighed.

"The gossip mill got you too?"

He gave me a sideways grin and shrugged.

"Yeah, this is Carly."

Using one hand, I pulled the blanket off the carrier. Carly blinked up at Marco's tanned face, and then suddenly, she cooed, a smile crossing her pink lips. I looked back at Marco, already expecting the wide-eyed look of awe on his face. Carly Cupid had another admirer.

"Hola, pequeña," he chuckled. "She's pretty, Bella."

I gawked at him. I wasn't expecting that he would actually say something. Apparently, Carly had some strong kind of magic on her.

Marco winked at her, and she gurgled happily. Then, he looked back at me, his face completely relaxed.

"Fill it up?"

I nodded, still mute.

Now there's something you don't see everyday.

By the time I hit town, the magic of the Mexican Miracle was wearing off. I could already feel the stares burning in my back as I finally cut my roaring engine in front of the Safeway. Instead of lugging around the carrier, I stuffed Carly back into the sling. I remembered to face her forward so I could have a little peace for a few minutes.

The trip was pretty uneventful. The closest I came to drama was nearly bumping into Tyler Crowley on the spaghetti aisle. The look on his face as he saw me was comical. It was probably because, at that moment, I was chanting to Carly in a high voice, "Noodles! Sauce! No, no, honey, don't grab that. Bella doesn't need that right now."

Ahh, motherhood.

After an equally boring stop by the hardware store, I put my guard down. Though I did get a lot of looks, no one bothered to approach me. Maybe everyone was finally learning that I wasn't going to talk.

So, I foolishly decided to stop at Larson's.

Larson's, my only sinful pleasure in Darlton, was the town's decade-old bookstore. On Saturdays, I sometimes had the habit of walking inside, closing my eyes and just taking in the smell of books and dust and half-drunk coffee. It didn't help that Mrs. Larson, the kind old woman who owned the shop, wasn't a gossip mill advocate.

"Bella," she greeted me, a warm smile on her face as I pushed through the door. Apparently, either Carly was getting plumper in my care, or I was really out of shape. "How are you doing, honey...Oh! Is this the little dear?"

She leaned over and let one withered finger rest on Carly's cheek. My baby girl just gazed up at her in awe.

"Yeah, that's Carly," I said, smiling. She really did have the magic touch. "Did you get in my order yet, Mrs. Larson?"

She frowned at me.

"Don't I always? I'm not like one of those big retail stores that are too uppity to remember a customer's particulars."

In Mrs. Larson's vocabulary, Barnes and Nobles was a profanity. She used to work there, a few years back when she was staying with her son in the city, and apparently the corporate life had horrified her.

As she rustled into the back to fetch my books, I wandered down the Children's Aisle. I was picking up a particularly colorful book to flash the pages at Carly, when that familiar whisper crept down my neck and into my spine.

"Motherhood suits you."

I gasped and whirled around, one hand instantly flying to clutch Carly closer to my chest. I blinked a few times, willing the apparition in front of my eyes to disappear. Maybe I was just dreaming, sleeping on my feet in the middle of the bookstore. Mrs. Larson would come over and tap me on the shoulder, and I would wake up...and this nightmare would completely be forgotten, like so many others.

But he was still standing there. He looked rather out of place in the world of old pages and dusty tomes that surrounded us; though, it was pretty obvious he'd tried to give himself a positive appearance. His long dreadlocks were pulled back at the nape of his neck, and he had traded in his usual greasy overalls and t-shirt for a jacket and khakis.

Unbidden, a memory floated to the top of my mind:

_Those overalls...those long, olive arms around my neck, choking me as one hand buried itself in my hair and yanked my head back...a silver blade caressing the skin of my throat..._

I propelled myself backwards against the shelf, still clutching Carly. She whimpered.

"What are you doing here?"

For some reason, though every instinct in my body was urging me to scream, I couldn't force a sound above a whisper out of my throat. It was closing up.

He raised a thick eyebrow, smiling coldly.

"Do I really need an excuse to check in on an old friend? My, my, Bella, how you wound me."

I slid against the shelf slowly. His eyes watched my every movement.

"Going so soon?"

"Keep away from me," I mumbled. My eyes flashed towards the bead curtain that separated the store from the back room. Mrs. Larson still wasn't making an appearance.

"You don't seem to understand. I'm not here to hurt you," his eyes flashed to the frightened child in my arms, "or your child. I just wanted to...look up on you, if you will."

My mind couldn't comprehend anything he was saying. My body wanted to flee, and before I knew what I was doing, I'd turned my back on him and was all-out sprinting for the front of the store. His hand was on my wrist, though, and I was lurching to a stop. My hands flew out for something to grasp on, and to my surprise, my fingers were suddenly digging into cold flesh, a silky shirt...

Someone yanked me away from his grasp, and I looked up, shocked.

"Edward?"

He didn't answer me. Instead, he shoved me roughly behind him, shielding me with his body. His deep green eyes were set above my head, full of righteous fury. Anger practically suffused his entire face, and, for a moment, he almost looked...inhuman.

"Is there a problem here?" He gritted out through clenched teeth.

For the first time, I almost thought I saw fear in the depths of those cold eyes. Then, it vanished, and he was smirking.

"No, not at all. I was merely pleasantly surprised to see Bella." He nodded at me. "It's been a while since we last got a chance to...talk."

In spite of myself, I couldn't help but look away and shrink against the back of my savior. He must have felt it.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll stay away from Bella."

Now his eyes were amused.

"Don't worry, boy," he chuckled. "I have no intention to steal your girlfriend."

He gave me another cursory glance.

"This was strictly an errand for a friend."

Before I could swallow that, a gray fedora was on his head, and he nodded once to me.

"Nice to see you again, Bella. Please stay in touch."

Then, he was gone, and I could breathe again. It took me another minute to realize I was still pressed up against Edward Mason---Cullen's back, and he was still holding me there with one of his cool hands. Obviously, he still ran on the lowest temperature in American history.

"I could have handled that," I snapped as soon as he let go of me, avoiding his eyes as I brushed against my clothes. My skin was still crawling from the way that he had looked at me, and his words...

_This was strictly an errand for a friend..._

"Bella, cowering against a shelf wasn't handling it," Edward argued as I purposefully ignored him and went back to grabbing up random children titles. "That guy looked like bad news, and the way he looked at you...he looked at you like you were something to eat."

A hand flew up to my mouth to stifle a hysterical laugh. Edward shot me a startled look.

"You have no idea," I mumbled under my breath as I shoved more books under my free arm. Then, I whirled on him, frowning.

"And what are you doing here? Didn't I tell you to leave me alone? Are you following me?"

The furrow in Edward's brow deepened. He looked like he was about to say something, but he was interrupted by Mrs. Larson's reappearance. She huffed as she set a pile of assorted books on the counter.

"Here you are, dear. I don't know why you want to read all these boring law books, but..."

Her voice trailed off as she met my dazed stare and Edward's hard face.

"I'm sorry, have we met?"

I took Edward's preoccupation as an excuse to grab up the books. I slapped a few twenties on the counter, mumbling, "Keep the change," before I beat a hasty retreat for the door.

"Bella! Wait!"

Edward caught me by the elbow as I fumbled with the books, the keys and the now wailing baby to try and unlock my truck. Fear was pumping in my blood now. I wanted nothing more but to go home, lock the doors and crawl under my bed, and hear those words again and again in my head.

_For a friend...for a friend...for a friend..._

"Bella."

Edward had grasped my elbow. He gazed down at me sternly.

"I know we aren't close like we used to be---and I know that it's mostly my fault---but damn it, Bella! Can you please tell me what's going on?"

I stared at him for a moment, my mouth agape and eyes wide, before I shoved the books at him and lunged into the car. I nearly dropped Carly before I could lay her in the carrier. Clicking the locks and pressing on the gas, I fishtailed out of the parking lot, with Edward still yelling after me.

I needed to call Jasper.


	6. Jasper

~6~

"Jasper, explain to me in five words or less why the hell Edward Masen and I are living in the same town."

After the fear had simmered down in my veins from the unexpected bump-in at the bookstore, anger had quickly replaced it. It was too bad that Jasper had picked up the phone before I had a chance to calm down; Rosalie and her Ice Queen routine would have given me a perfect excuse to lash out and let go of my unhealthy frustrations.

"Well, that's a tough nut to crack, darlin'," he drawled. I could almost picture him, a golden-haired god in a pinstriped suit and cowboy boots, as he stretched out his long legs onto his desk. "It could be fate, or destiny, or whatever else fancy words people put to coincidences around your parts. But then again, it could be just Edward trying to rile you up the way he always does when he doesn't get his way."

That long unnecessary response was the confirmation I needed, and the gasoline to fuel my spark of irritation.

"You knew, didn't you?" I seethed. "No wait, of course you did. How else would Edward know exactly what run-down, hick town I would be living in than from his turncoat of a brother-in-law?"

It was harsh, I knew, but I had known Jasper for far too long to even think of putting a filter on my word vomit. He just waited for me to stop huffing, and then asked calmly, "You through?"

"Hardly, but you can go ahead and start spewing the alibis."

"Good. First off, Bells, I didn't tell Edward where you were. Emmett did. After you...well, after you left Forks, he came back. I guess he was thinking he'd give you enough time to be calm and sensible so that he could apologize."

I huffed. Yeah, right. Knowing Edward, he probably was just waiting for me to throw myself back in his arms and tell him how I couldn't live without him. Apologies, my foot.

"Honestly, Bells, do you really think that I would just hand over all your information to him after he hurt you so badly?" He sighed harshly. "I still have nightmares of how you used to be after Edward left. You completely drew inside yourself and..."

"I know," I snapped. I didn't want to relive that past, not when something doubly disturbing was dawning on the horizon. "I remember."

There was a brief silence, and then Jasper spoke again. His voice was normal and smooth.

"Edward's not the thing bothering you, darlin'. Fess up to Uncle Jasper...what's wrong?"

I choked out a laugh.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to refer to yourself as Uncle Jasper? It's disturbing."

He waited.

I sighed, and my voice crept down to a whisper. My eyes flitted towards the locked door. I had done a check of the house after I'd set a sleeping Carly down on the couch. Even though I knew it was safe, my mind kept conjuring images of broken doors, brandished knives or guns and evil laughter ringing in my ears.

"Laurent is in town."

That was enough to break Jasper out of his peaceful Southern funk.

"What?" He roared. "Where? What happened, Bella? I swear to God if he laid a hand on you..."

"Jazz, Jazz...Jesus, Jasper Hale! Calm down!"

I raised my voice, and then quickly lowered it as I saw my girl's brow furrow. God, I was such a whipped mama.

Jasper lowered his voice too, but not for the same reason. When people see Jasper Hale, most expect him to be a pushover. His body was much like that devil of a brother-in-law he had: lean, but underneath the thin frame were strong muscles that could rival those of a club bouncer. Jasper scared me, and we both knew it.

He lowered his voice to intimidate me.

"Bella Swan, you'd better tell me everything, or expect me and Rose on your doorstep tomorrow night."

I rolled my eyes. What was it with my family and friends and threatening me with plane tickets? Did I really give off that hermit vibe?

"Okay, so I was at the bookstore. I was waiting for these books I ordered---you know, the ones you told me to read for..."

I faltered and took a deep breath.

"Go on," Jasper pressed.

"Yeah, so...I went down the Childrens' Aisle, you know, to get a book for Carly and then all of a sudden..."

"Hang on there a second," Jasper said, and I suddenly remembered a major faux pas that I'd just committed. Oh, Hell. I didn't tell Jasper or Rose about Carly. "Who's Carly, now?"

"I'll tell you in a minute," I said quickly, and then before he could interrupt, I pressed on.

"So, he just appears right there in front of me. Basically I freaked out and told him to get away from me, but he told me that he wasn't there to harm me. And there here comes Edward, all pissed because he thinks another man is on his turf and..."

"Edward stood up to Laurent?"

Jasper sounded like he was experiencing an odd combination of amusement and surprise.

"Well, well, well...I always knew Mr. Self-Absorbed had a gooey hero complex inside the shell."

"Will you shut up, and just let me finish?" I hissed.

"Right. Sorry. Continue, sweetheart."

"So Edward scares him off, but then he tells me something..."

My voice trailed off as I remembered the words, still ringing in my ears.

_"This was strictly an errand for a friend..."_

"He was here for someone else," I whispered. "He was here for a friend."

"A friend?" Jasper replied, bewildered.

"Yeah, I know. The old Laurent I knew never did a favor for anyone, unless..."

Something occured to me...something bad and horrible and that I'd never wanted to think of again.

"Oh, God. Jasper...do you think he's back?"

Jasper's voice was soothing as he quickly tried to dissuade my fears.

"That's impossible, darlin'. You heard the judge. He's gotten life sentence. It'll be a miracle if he ever gets out in the sunlight again. Rose and I made sure that every string was tied so _that monster_ won't be able to come back and hurt you again. I promise."

I knew better than to not trust Jasper. He was the toughest lawyer there was, despite the fact that he was the youngest partner in his father's law firm. I also knew that, come hell or high water, Jasper wouldn't let anyone hurt me. They would have to go over his dead body first.

"But who else would Laurent run an errand for?" I whispered.

He sighed.

"I dunno, darlin'. I'll have to talk to Dad and look up on a few things. But, wait..."

There was a murmur in the background, and then Jasper groaned.

"Are you sitting down, Bells?"

"I am now," I replied, worried already. "What's wrong?"

"You aren't going to like what I'm about to tell you."

"Jasper, what's wrong?"

He sighed again, and I could imagine him removing his glasses off the bridge of his nose and rubbing his temples.

"I want you...to tell Edward what happened after he left."

"WHAT?"

This time I couldn't modulate my voice. Carly woke up and began to cry, and I nearly dropped the phone in a scramble to get to her and calm her down. It was only after she settled down and I wiped off my sweaty fingers that I spoke into the receiver.

"Jasper?"

"A baby, Bella?" Jasper replied, bewildered. "Are you going into the kidnapping business now?"

"I told you I would explain," I said through gritted teeth, "and now it's your turn to explain how on Earth you got the impression that Edward Masen deserved to hear my life story."

"Bella...I know that he hurt you pretty badly, and honestly, best friend or no I'm not one of his supporters at this point. But I do know that boy has his heart in the right place, and he'd kill himself before anyone got their hands on you."

I scoffed.

"Yes, because Edward Masen is the pinnacle of justice when it comes to me."

"Bella..."

"I'm not going to tell him, Jasper."

I closed my eyes, feeling the prickling of tears behind the lids.

"Other people might not understand how hard I've just tried to put it all behind me. At this point, I'm scared to even think about it too long. Just looking at Laurent brought back things I wanted to forget. Telling Edward...I feel as though it will make all of it real, instead of it just being that long horrible nightmare I just woke up from."

There was a bit of silence, and then Jasper coughed awkwardly. Jasper was good at sensing emotion, but when it came to his own emotions, he hated to wear his feelings on his sleeve.

"I know, Bella, believe me. But, listen to me, hon...You're going to have to talk it out with him sooner or later. Whether you accept it or not, you're still hanging on to him. You still care for him."

I tried to protest, but he cut me off.

"Don't give me any slop, Bella. You still care for Edward, and he cares for you too. Otherwise, I'm not sure as to why he would drop all his job offers here in Seattle and head down to a small hick town just because you were living there. Believe me, you need to tell him. I don't know when I could get down there, and I would feel much better if there was someone there looking over you."

By the end of his little speech, I was feeling extremely guilty. Of course, then he would have to clinch it with those four magic words that Jasper could get away with: "I worry about you."

"I'm sorry, Jazz," I said suddenly.

"Hmm? For what?"

I gave a little watery laugh.

"I call you up and start bothering you about the man that I left you for back in high school."

He laughed too.

"Bella, you honestly think I still hold grudges that far back? Really, honey...I still love you, but not in that way anymore. Now, I wonder if it might have been just a high school crush."

"You were hurt too," I insisted. "I remember..."

"My ego more than my heart, baby girl," he chuckled. "Don't worry about it."

Something occurred to me.

"How is Alice?"

His voice softened with affection.

"The same as she always is. She's downtown with Rose right now---something about a new signature Coach bag or something. I don't try to keep up with her."

He paused.

"She misses you."

I knew that would be coming up sooner or later.

"I miss her too," I said stiffly. This was one thing Jasper knew better to bring up, but apparently he wasn't going to let go.

"You need to let go of the past, Bells. She's sorry for what she did, and she's sorry she hurt you. She loves you, Bella. She just was doing what she thought was best for you."

"Yeah. We know how that worked out."

I could practically feel the hurt vibrating off Jasper, and I sighed. It was true. I did miss my little pixie best friend and her rays of sunshine. But I wasn't sure whether or not I was ready to forgive her, or her erstwhile brother.

"I might give her a call," I said grudgingly. "But I make no promises."

"Thank you," Jasper breathed. "It would mean a lot to her."

There was another long, awkward silence, which was broken when Carly opened her mouth and let out a high-pitched cry. I glanced out at the darkening sky. It was her feeding time. I was finally starting to get a hold of Carly's schedule and make it in tune with my own.

"About the baby..." Jasper said calmly, and I sighed.

"Okay, you have to promise not to freak out again, 'kay?"

I told him the whole story, and he listened in absolute silence. It surprised me. Yes, I had expected Jake to be a little concerned about the idea of someone leaving a child on my steps, but nothing compared to Jasper's worries. The fact that Laurent knew where I was was a cause of concern; but the fact that someone would go past the outskirts of town to leave the baby on the town pariah's doorstep?

"That doesn't seem good," Jasper said finally. "I don't like the idea of someone feeling so comfortable with your habits to know that you would find that baby on the steps."

"Woodlock is looking into it," I said absently. Carly greedily sucked at her bottle, and I lovingly tapped a finger under her chin.

"Not so fast, honey."

"Me?"

Jasper sounded amused.

"Not you, creep," I snapped. "Carly."

There was another pause, and then Jasper asked, still amused, "So they allowed you to name her?"

"No," I sighed. "That was all me. I was thinking of Charlie and how he wanted a granddaughter when I was..."

That sentence didn't need to be finished. Jasper sighed.

"Honey, you're going in way too deep. If they take this little girl away from you, what are you going to do if you're getting so attached already?"

"I'll manage."

There was no room for argument in my voice.

"Actually, that was something I wanted to talk to you about. Can you tell me any books about adoption?"

"Bella, are you sure?"

Jasper sounded stunned for once.

"It might be too soon for that. I'm not sure if it would be wise for your mental health if..."

"Jasper Whitlock Hale."

He sighed.

"I'll send you a few brochures in the mail, and a list of titles you can check out at that bookstore if you want. But, believe me, with that list I gave you last time, you have a lot of reading to go through. Are you sure this is what you want?"

I looked down into Carly's blue eyes.

"It's what I always wanted, Jasper. I'm tired of being manipulated into other peoples' molds. I want to get back on track on my life, and that's why I called to tell you about Laurent and Edward. I don't want my old life to block my new goals."

"Don't worry about it, sweetheart. Rose and I will look into it."

"Thanks, Jazz. Love you."

"Love you too, darlin'. Just...think about what I said about Edward, all right? The boy does care about you."

"Whatever, Hale."

I hung up and sighed. In spite of the fact that I did feel a bit more secure after talking to Jasper, there was still the fact that Laurent knew I lived in Darlton. He had always been more of a follower than a direct adversary, so I was pretty sure that he wasn't here to cause me harm on his own. But if he was here on an errand for someone else...

Ugh. Maybe I did have to go and talk to Edward.


	7. Checkup and 'Fess Up

~7~

"Bella."

Esme stood in the doorway of the waiting room, a kind smile on her face. I lurched to my feet sleepily as Carly mewed and buried her face into my chest. It had been a long night for the both of us. After I'd hung up with Jazz, nightmares had pretty much ruined any other chances of sleep I had. It was the reason why I never liked to speak about the past. It brought up things that I would rather forget.

Carly seemed to have picked up on my restlessness and joined in with a bout of crankiness that had taken most of the early morning to calm down. She was unnaturally clingy now, and it worried me. Every day reminded me that I had no previous experience with being a mother---and though I loved Reneé, I was more of her guardian than she was over me. What if I had done something wrong and made Carly sick?

"Hi, Esme," I mumbled, leaning in to give her a sideways hug. She hugged me back, and then held me at arms length.

"Goodness, sweetheart...you look like death warmed over. Did you get any sleep last night?"

I shook my head, fighting tears.

"Carly wasn't feeling well, and I was just really worried..."

She studied me, pressing her lips together. Then, she smiled suddenly, surprising me with the sudden watery shine of her eyes as she embraced me yet again.

"Oh, honey!"

I hugged her back, again, but was perplexed.

"What happened?"

She pulled back, shaking her head. She was still smiling, but a tear had fallen down her cheek.

"Nothing," she sniffled. "Carlisle's waiting for you."

I stared at her, feeling awkward. I didn't do good when it came to weeping people, and as much as I loved Esme and all she'd done for me in my first months in Darlton, she was no exception. She took in my face and then laughed, slapping me on the shoulder.

"Bella, it's nothing! I'm just being a silly old woman. Maybe it's menopause."

"Ugh, Esme," I chuckled reluctantly.

She shook her head and shoved me towards the inner sanctum of the office.

"Go on now. We've kept the man waiting long enough."

I walked in slowly, gripping Carly close to me. Though both Carlisle and Esme were kind people, I still couldn't get over my previous inhibitions when it came to doctors' offices. Being a clumsy person had landed me in and out of the emergency room for most of my life, but the memories that I didn't like were more recent.

Shaking my head to clear it, I realized that Carlisle was standing by the large bay window. He stared out at the small yard beneath the office. The sun hit his face, making him look so much younger than he already was. I stood there for a moment, and watched him, wondering how such a kind couple as him and Esme couldn't have children of their own.

Was that why she was crying? I suddenly felt extremely guilty, even though it wasn't completely my fault. Then again, if I didn't have a child to take care of, I wouldn't want to see someone else flaunting their own child.

Carlisle seemed to notice my presence then. He leapt to attention, an easy smile crossing his face.

"Ahh, Bella. How are you today, sweetheart?"

"I could've slept better, but the little princess wasn't feeling herself this morning."

I had realized that, over the week and a half that I'd had Carly in my care, I'd began to use a high voice whenever I spoke to anyone in her presence. It was the exact same voice I'd laughed at in my childhood when any of Reneé's friends had used it on me...obviously, just another perk of motherhood.

Carlisle's eyes softened as he looked at Carly. She was just waking up, one little fist rubbing at her eyes. She stared at him apprehensively, but he just touched her cheek.

"And what's bothering our little angel today, huh?"

She couldn't even bring up a smile. My heart sank, and I gave Carlisle a panicked look. To my surprise, he didn't seem shocked by her listlessness.

"It doesn't seem that bad, Bella," he said soothingly. "Just hold her still so I can do a quick check."

Carly squirmed and whimpered the whole time, each little sound of discomfort tugging at my heartstrings. Carlisle was extremely gentle, whispering tenderly in her ear the whole time.

"Okay...almost there, honey...you're doing so good...such a good girl..."

When he finally stood up, his face was relieved.

"Nothing to worry about, sweetheart," he said, patting me on the shoulder. "She just seems to have a bit of an ear infection. Most get it around this time when it starts to get colder. I'll give you a prescription to be filled out."

"Thank you," I said gratefully.

He sat down at his desk, and began to write on a small pad. I looked down at my little girl. She'd fallen asleep again. I was relieved that it had turned out to be a small problem, and nothing that was my fault either. Maybe I wasn't such a failure after all.

"So, how is the investigation going?" Carlisle asked suddenly. I jumped, both at the sudden noise and the question.

"The investigation?"

"Looking for Carly's parents."

His eyes held mine steadily, without any expression in them at all. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach.

"I haven't actually heard anything about it," I admitted. "Why?"

Now he looked surprised.

"Really, now? I would've thought that Edward had told you something."

I sighed. I didn't want to get into details with Carlisle about why I didn't trust his adopted son; but perhaps honesty was the best policy.

"Edward and I don't really talk."

"Hmm."

He didn't press.

"Well, if you're curious, they haven't found anyone yet. They're going to be sending the information to the city now, since they exhausted the suburbs."

He gave me another unfathomable look.

"No matches at all?"

That was alarming to me.

_"It worries me that the person was so comfortable in your habits that they knew that you would find that baby on your porch."_

Laurent's face flew to mind, but I quickly shoved it away. Damn it, Jasper.

"None," Carlisle shook his head. "To be honest, Bella, it's kind of worrying me. I understand that in your...history," he gave me a glance out of the corner of your eye, "you were dragged towards unsavory people, against your own will. Now, is it possible that someone could be trying to contact you again?"

"By leaving me the one thing I wanted?"

I had to laugh. Carlisle's face became irritated.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle," I apologized. "I wasn't laughing at you...it just seems far-fetched, don't you think?"

He stared at me hard for a moment, as though he was searching for something. He seemed to find it. He smiled then, the cheerful light coming back into his eyes.

"Yes, it would. Well, not to worry about that then."

He pushed the slip across the table, and then leaned back in his chair easily, propping his head on his arms.

"Now...can I at least know why you and Edward aren't talking? Did it by any chance happen to be a lover's quarrel?"

I gasped. Apart from Jasper, I hadn't spoken to anyone about my previous relationship with Edward. How...

Carlisle was laughing.

"I was just kidding, Bella. But," a teasing twinkle entered his eye, "now that you reacted like that, I'm not really sure."

"There's nothing between me and Edward Masen---er, Cullen," I huffed. "Not anymore."

He sobered quickly.

"So you did know Edward in the past."

I gave him a glance.

"I think that's what I just said."

"No, no..."

There was an odd look on his face.

"I tried to ask Edward about you the other day. He'd just come from your house, and there was something...off about him. He seemed a bit hurt. When I mentioned your name, he just sort of heaved a sigh and said, 'It doesn't matter. She'll never listen to me again.'"

I wondered why hearing that gave me an odd pang in my chest. It must have been the sleep deprivation catching up to me.

"But then, I asked him later if he'd met you before, and he was quick to tell me that you'd only just met."

Carlisle cocked his head to one side, studying me.

"Odd that he would say that."

"It was a long time ago," I sighed, rubbing at my temples. I was getting a headache from all these questions coming up. "Back in high school, we got introduced by his sister, and we hit it off. I was dating another guy, but...something about Edward and me...we just clicked, you know?"

He nodded. I wasn't sure if he was agreeing or just encouraging me to continue. I pressed on.

"Things were going good, but then...one night, he left."

"Just like that?"

I shook my head. There were some things that just didn't need to be said, not even to a good man like Carlisle. He knew the topic was closed. He sighed and shook his head.

"Bella, I understand that Edward might be a sore topic for you, but I really think that he needs to know about what happened."

Deja vu.

"You're the second person to tell me that," I huffed.

"Really? Who was the first?"

"Jasper Hale."

Carlisle smiled fondly.

"Ah, Jasper. He's a good boy."

"Yeah, when he isn't poking his nose into other people's business," I mumbled.

Carlisle took me by the shoulders.

"Hey. Listen."

I looked up at his kind blue eyes, and smiled reluctantly.

"That's my girl. Now, pay attention. Jasper and I are telling you to talk to Edward because---believe it or not, there are people who care about you."

There was a teasing note in his voice, and I couldn't help but mumble sarcastically, "Really? You care? I thought I was only the other woman you called in for the fun of it?"

He winked.

"Shh, don't tell Esme. You don't want her to stop us from eloping."

I laughed.

"You're such a nerd, Carlisle."

He laughed too, but then his eyes softened.

"I don't know about Edward, but Bella...I think you should patch it up. I know that boy does care about you, whether he wants to show it or not...even if he doesn't want to take a step towards working it out, you should. He needs to know what happened."

I didn't really have anything to say. Some part of me told me that he might be right...and then, another part told me to shut the hell up. It wasn't Edward's business. He gave me up a long time ago, and I would be surprised if he actually even wanted to get me back.

I didn't want him back. Did I?

My mind was preoccupied as I rode down the quiet road back to the house. Carly was asleep next to me in her seat, her angelic face at peace. Not even the fact that Carly was calm could distract me from my abstraction. I wasn't sure what was bothering me more: the idea of confronting Edward Masen Cullen about my past, or the fact that, sooner or later, Carly might leave me.

I should've been suspicious right away as I pulled into the driveway, but I was too preoccupied to notice that the house was unusually dark. I leapt out of the truck, hoping the cool air would clear my head, and stretched from side to side.

_Forget Edward._

_You can just make some reason up about why you didn't talk to him..._

_...Yeah, like Jazz will let you get away with that._

"Ugh!" I shook my head again furiously. "Get out of my head!"

Then the low chuckle came from behind me.

"I'm flattered that I'm still in your thoughts, _ma cherie_. Maybe there's some hope for our relationship after all."

I turned around, and instantly my heart and stomach dropped to my feet.

"Laurent."

He gave me a little nod, still chuckling.

"This is easier than I thought," he gloated. "Like a sitting duck."

In a lightning-fast movement, there was a cloth forced over my nose. I tried to fight it off, but I could feel the familiar effects of the chloroform rushing through my body.

_Edward..._

And then, it was dark.


	8. Hostage

~8~

God, I had a headache. It felt like someone had knocked me down with a baseball bat and then unleashed a jackhammer inside my skull. Moaning, I tried to raise a hand to the table, to fumble for the bottle of aspirin I always kept there.

I couldn't.

Surprised, I tried again, only to realize that there was something biting into my wrists, binding them together tightly. I had rope around my hands. But how...

I gasped, and my eyes flew open as I blinked widely. I was sitting on the couch inside my house. The lights were off, casting the room in an eerie darkness only broken by the shaft of the full moon seeping through the windows. My feet were just as tightly bound as my hands, and, as I tried to move my mouth, I realized there was a cotton sock stuffed in my mouth.

_Laurent._

He was standing there next to the other window. I couldn't make out his facial expression; just his tall silhouette framed by the moonlight behind him. He was silent, observing me carefully. I was reminded suddenly of a cat, watching the mouse as it realizes that it had nowhere to run.

_Dear God, please help me._

"Good evening, Bella," he said smoothly, stepping forward towards me. I shrank back into the couch. "I'm sorry that I had to end our previous conversation so rudely, but as you can see...I had more pressing matters to attend to."

Something occurred to me then, and my eyes widened widely.

_Carly! Where is my baby? _

He seemed to be able to read my expression. He chuckled.

_cheri_

"Don't worry, _ma fille, _your little pet is doing just fine. She's right there next to you."

My head instantly craned to try and see the carrier on the floor. Of course, I couldn't, which didn't lessen my anxiety. For all I knew, he could be lying. After all, hadn't he basically just knocked me out and taken me hostage on my own property?

He was still speaking.

"It isn't she who I came for after all."

He knelt down in front of me, and I could finally see his face now. In spite of the sock in my mouth, I let out a gasp. Where that had previously been smooth skin on his right cheek, there was now a long burnt scar. He followed my line of vision, and sighed.

"Ahh, yes. That is exactly why I'm here. If you recall, Vicky doesn't like to hear about failures."

If it were any possible, my eyes widened until I felt they were going to fall out of their sockets. My heart began to pound in my chest, and I knew that the situation had just gotten worse than it already was.

_Victoria._

"So you do remember her?" Laurent continued to talk calmly, almost gently, as though we were old friends catching up on the latest gossip. "She would be pleased to hear that. After all, she certainly remembers you. It's the only reason why I'm here."

He took on a faraway look.

"I wasn't eager to come back to the main body of the States. Until quite recently, I was up in Denali, Alaska. I found myself a girl there---Irina Deburgess. Ah, don't look so shocked, Bella," he chided me, "You were the one who told me once that I should find a good girl to turn my life around for."

At the moment, I'd been drenched in my own blood and fighting for air. I was surprised that he could actually remember petty Dear Abby advice when he'd been holding a knife at my throat. But I couldn't tell him that, and he was still caught up in his own reminsicing.

"Yes, Irina is quite a girl. I was actually considering setting down roots for good. But when Vicky called me, I found that I couldn't refuse a friend's request. So, I came back. You made it quite easy for me, Bella...you actually left a nice little bread crumb trail of paperwork and half-baked lies behind you. Now, all that's left for me is one little step, and I can make my way back to Irina."

I stared at him, frozen.

_What little step?_

His brown eyes held mine, and for a moment he almost looked sympathetic.

"Please, don't take this seriously, Bella. It's what I am, and I owe it to Victoria after so many times she stepped in to 'take care' of someone for me. You should feel grateful I found you first. The things she had planned for you..."

He shook his head sadly. Still frozen, my eyes suddenly caught the flash of a blade in his outstretched hand.

_Oh, God...God, please no..._

He was moving upwards now, the blade following every moment of his hand as it crawled up my knee. I frantically shook my head, trying to slide backwards into the couch. There was no more give. I had taken up all the free space my body could handle.

There was nowhere to escape.

"Don't worry, Bella," he assured me again in a low whisper. "I'll make this fast. And if you're thinking about that little pet of yours on the floor, well..." He cracked a smile. "...I think that Irina would love it if I came back with a new daughter for our new life."

_Dear God...Dear God..._

"Besides," he hissed as the blade finally pressed into the solid flesh of my neck, "why do you keep trying for children, anyway? You never get to keep them, even now..."

My eyes rolled widely as I tried to gasp for air. It was a losing battle. My lungs seemed as though they were collapsing, and my nerves were urging me towards a mercifully painless faint. Darkness bloomed in front of my eyes just as Laurent let the blade dig into my skin.

Before that moment, I'd never understood what people meant when they said that your whole life flashed in front of your eyes when you were dying. But I did then. I could see it all. There were the good moments, and the bad that I flinched away from and wished I could forward-fast. Of course, I can't. When you're dead, you no longer call the shots. I could see the faces of my family, and people I loved...Jasper, Jacob...Edward.

_Please forgive me._

It was a nice way to go though, being able to see them all for the last time. Edward's face lingered though. I drank in his eyes, wide and beautiful and lovely, and the crooked grin he gave me.

_"You're so damn cute, Bella."_

I didn't want to leave this peaceful darkness, being able to see the good parts of our relationship like a slideshow. But abruptly, I was being dragged out of the darkness, away from the calm numbness...

...And it hurt like Hell.

"Bella?"

"Bells, don't do this..."

"I think she's fainted. Maybe you should slap her."

With a moan, I forced my eyes open. Everything hurt, and my hands and feet felt numb. A pair of gorgeous green eyes stared down into mine with relief.

"Bella? Bella, can you hear me?"

"Of course I can hear you," I mumbled, smacking away a hand that went to my forehead. "'m not deaf."

There was a familiar chuckle.

"Of course not. Bella, how do you feel?"

I yawned.

"Drowsy...Carlisle?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

A warm hand pressed to my forehead, and this time I didn't try to smack it. I knew who that hand belonged to, and I was both as mad as hell and extremely happy that he was here.

"Can you tell everyone to back the hell off and hold their thoughts until I wake up?"

There was a loud roar of laughter before I slipped back into unconsciousness.


	9. Filling in the Blank

~9~

Sunlight flooded onto my face, making me wince as I tried to open my eyes. My whole body felt exhausted, like I'd just been run over with a eighteen-wheeler, and then beaten like a rug. It wasn't a very pleasant sensation, or imagery for that matter. I stared at the walls for a moment, confused. This wasn't my room. It was white and airy, with billowing curtains. The sheets beneath me felt like Egyptian cotton compared to the cheap plastic thread spread over my bed.

"Well, good morning, Bella."

I turned my head painfully. Esme was sitting next to me, a worried look in her eyes. She leaned forward to touch my cheek.

"How do you feel?"

I choked out a laugh. My throat felt like a desert.

"Like I got into a fight with a grizzly and lost...badly."

She gave a small smile.

"How about your neck?"

"My neck?"

I raised my hand, confused, and gasped when I realized that a thick patch of gauze was taped to the side of my neck. Suddenly, memories came flooding back to me: Laurent, the chloroform, the blade...In spite of the pain, I suddenly found the energy to practically catapult myself off the bed. Esme threw out her arms to catch me, but I staggered to my feet.

"Carly? Where's Carly?" I panted, panicking. "What happened to my baby?"

Esme opened her mouth, presumably to soothe me, but then I heard his voice.

"She's right here, Bella."

I turned around quickly, nearly throwing myself off balance. Edward stood in the doorway, looking surprisingly haggard. Stubble coated his chin, and there were bags under his eyes. I'd never seen himself so rundown, and it almost worried me...until I saw my baby girl. She was in his arms, looking as healthy and perfect as she always did. As soon as our eyes met, she whimpered and held out her hands.

I didn't hesitate. Edward held her out, and I snatched her up and squeezed her to me. She gave a little sob, and I sobbed too.

"Oh, thank God. Thank God."

Tears ran down my cheeks and fell into Carly's hair. I hadn't realized until that moment how worried I was about her. I looked back up at Edward, not even caring about the blotchy state of my face.

"He didn't do anything to her?"

He shook his head, still watching me with that tired look.

"She slept through the whole thing."

"Thank God," I mouthed again. All of a sudden, I felt extremely tired. Esme must have read it on my face, because she instantly pushed me towards the chair she'd been occupying.

"Sit down, sweetheart. You shouldn't work yourself up right now."

I slumped in the chair, and Esme excused herself to find Carlisle. Edward sat next to me, on the bed, and burrowed a hand through his wild hair. I silently stared down at Carly as she nuzzled into my chest.

"What happened, Edward?" I asked finally. I wasn't actually sure that I wanted to know, but then again, I didn't want to leave that frustrating black hole in my life.

Edward's eyes were suddenly alive, and he leaned towards me.

"What do you remember?"

"Um...Laurent was holding a knife against my throat...he told me that he was doing a favor for..."

I trailed off, because Edward's expression was practically murderous.

"That's good enough," he responded darkly. "Now, let me fill you in. I was on my way to do a check on Carly for the report. When I reached your house, I was a bit surprised to see that all the lights were out. I know your aversion to complete darkness, and that worried me. But what really made me panic was the fact that there was your trunk, the keys still in the ignition and the door unlocked...without a sign of you or Carly."

He swallowed hard.

"Fortunately, I tried to keep a cool head. Carlisle told me before I left that Carly had an ear infection, so I figured that perhaps you'd been distracted when you took her into the house and forgot to lock up the truck. The door was open, so I stepped in. I heard your voice, and you sounded strained, but I thought that you were speaking to Carly...and then..."

He clenched his jaw, and his eyes smoldered.

"I heard that...that beast...what he was planning to do to you. At that point, I didn't think. I ran into the room. You had passed out by that point, and that monster was about to slit your throat."

I shuddered at how easily he could say those words.

"I dragged him off of you, but not before he could let the knife dig a bit into your skin. That's why you have that bandage on your neck. We wrestled for a bit, and I knocked the knife away under the couch. For all his smart talk, he's a pretty weak man. I didn't know it, but we were both in for a surprise. Do you remember anything else about what happened?"

I racked my brain and suddenly saw what he was going at.

"Jasper! I heard Jasper, and Emmett, and Rose!"

"They were trying to surprise you," Edward replied. "Jazz was having a bad feeling about Laurent being in town, so Rosalie bought tickets. When they heard from Carlisle that I was over at your place for so long, they decided to take matters into their own hands and come down to check."

He chuckled wryly.

"They thought they might have to break up a fight between you and me. You can't imagine how surprised they were when they came and found you---passed out on the couch---and me rolling around on the floor with a paid assassin."

I smiled at the idea of the expression on Emmett's face, and then something pricked at me.

"Wait---so what happened to Laurent?"

Edward's lips contorted into a dark grin.

"Jasper and I took care of him."

I wasn't sure what was showing on my face, but Edward sighed, exasperated.

"Don't look at me that way, Bella. Of course we didn't kill him---not that I know why'd you care," he glowered at me, "but, we just beat him up a little and sent him on his way to Woodlock's. They're shipping him to the city for a fair trial as soon as he's conscious."

"Oh."

I had to digest this for a moment. Edward had been upset when he found me unconscious. Edward beat the living hell out Laurent because he hurt me. Maybe he did care more than I thought.

"Thank you," I said softly. "For saving me, I mean."

To my surprise, Edward smiled at me---that old, crooked grin that I missed so much.

"Anytime."

Abruptly though, he became serious.

"Now it's your turn. Who was that guy, and why was he trying to kill you?"

I sighed. I knew that this conversation had been coming for a long time now. Perhaps it was my karma; Laurent was sent as a punishment because I was trying to put off my 'destiny' or something equally ridiculous. Regardless, it was out now, and I had no choice but to tell Edward, whether I liked it or not.

"It's a long story," I hedged.

"Judging by the pots and pans I can hear downstairs, we have a bit of time before your nurse kicks me out," he chuckled quietly. "I'm listening."

I looked down at Carly's peaceful face, trying to sort my thoughts and figure out how to succinctly tell the story at the same time. This wasn't going to be easy. Even Jasper didn't know everything that had happened, and I wanted to keep it that way.

"There was this guy, James," I said flatly. "We were together for a while, and at first he was real sweet. I thought I was in love with him, but he turned out to be a total abusive jerk. One night he took it too far, and I had to call the cops on him. He got a one-way ticket to a cushy jail cell, and I moved here to try and get away from him. Apparently, his friends don't think that I should be let off the hook. So Laurent was sent to kill me. Any other questions?"

Not all of it was true, and I hoped that I had become a better liar than I was in high school. Edward didn't answer, and I peeked up at him through my lashes. The expression on his face was positively murderous.

"This...James...used to abuse you?"

I shrugged, trying to brush it off. A mad Edward was a scary Edward, and even after all these years I couldn't help but shrink inwardly at his wrath.

"That was a long time ago, Edward, and I'm fine now. You saved me. Thanks again, by the way."

I thought that would settle it, but Edward didn't agree. He opened his mouth, obviously to protest again, when Carlisle burst into the room.

"Bella, Edward," he said briskly. "We have a problem."

LINE BREAK

The whole situation was freaking me out. There I was, puffy-eyed and bandaged like some lucky survivor out of a B-rated horror movie...and then there were Esme and Rosalie, flanking me on each side, fawning over me like I was a terminally ill patient or something. Esme didn't really scare me; her motherly overprotectiveness seemed to be embedded in my genes. It was nice, actually.

Rose, though, was a whole different story. In all the years we'd been tight, Rose had always been the rather witchy best friend---the one who insulted you when she actually loved you. She was never the type that cuddled or worried to the extreme.

Apparently, everyone has their weakness.

As soon as she saw me and Carly, she pulled me next to her on the couch and promptly began to chew me out: how could I be so stupid as to tell Jasper instead of her---because we both knew how slow Jasper was to perceive danger, I mean, look at his ex-girlfriend Maria---and how could I possibly not see the danger signs there in front of me, and what would she have done if I was killed...blah blah blah.

Then, she started stroking my hair---yes, stroking me like I was a kitty. It was totally creeping me out, but when I tried to move, Emmett gave me a pleading look, so I just sat there.

Carlisle was at the front of the room, leaning against one of the windows. Beside him sat Jasper and Edward. All three of them wore solemn faces that I knew meant nothing good was about to happen.

"How do you feel, Bella?" Carlisle greeted me.

"Just peachy," I snapped. "Can you please tell me what's going on?"

Aches and pains might as well equal PMS when it comes to me. All those trips in and out of the hospital still haven't strengthened my pain threshold.

"Ahh, yes. Of course."

Carlisle only seemed mildly surprised.

"As Edward must have told you, Bella, Laurent has been sent to the city penitentiary. We have already taken the liberty of pressing charges for breaking and entering, kidnapping and attempted murder."

He looked at me for confirmation. I just gave a hard nod.

_Please just get on with it._

"Ahem...well...when he arrived, it was found that he had regained consciousness. Surprisingly, he was all too willing to answer questions and plead guilty---presumably to speed up his jail sentence."

That reminded me.

"Ahh, yes, Irina!" I blurted.

Everyone gave me perplexed looks.

"Laurent was telling me that he hadn't actually wanted to take the job..." I explained excitedly. "...Something about this girl he met up in Alaska named Irina, that he wanted to marry."

Emmett snorted.

"Some chick actually wanted to have that psycho's babies?"

Rosalie glared at him, and he shut up. Good old Emmett.

Carlisle cleared his throat again and continued.

"Yes, well...Laurent told the marshal something that was quite troublesome to hear, and he in turn phoned me right away."

He paused then, looking uncomfortable.

"Which was?" Esme pressed gently.

It was Jasper who spoke up. He hadn't said anything really since I'd hobbled down the stairs. He just looked at me real hard, and then grabbed me up in his arms tightly. Edward had given him the evil eye for that, but I ignored him.

"It's James, Bells. He escaped last night."

The words sank in slowly, like drops of poison. It took me a moment to comprehend, but when I did, it felt like someone had delivered a knockout punch to my solar plexus.

Rosalie shook me.

"Breathe, Bella!"

I gasped for air.

"James?" I panted.

Jasper's face was somber.

"It appears that Laurent's little stunt he pulled yesterday was improvision."

"Victoria told him to do it," I whispered. "She's out there somewhere, too. She wanted revenge for James. I guess that she got impatient and sprung him. They did it before."

Jasper's expression darkened.

"Then it seems that the situation is more serious than we thought," he sighed. "We're still trying to trace through the Witness Protection System, to find how they located you. It might have been an information leak in the system, or a pair of loose lips. In the meantime though, our priority is to keep you---and Carly," he added, giving my baby a strange sideways glance, "safe."

"I'll do anything," I said sincerely, and meant it. The first time we'd gone through this, I hadn't been as accepting. Because of my abusive ex and his psycho cronies, I was being uprooted from the state I'd lived in for all my life and dumped into a hick town without proper wireless. This time though was different. There was someone else I wanted to protect, someone more important...even if she wasn't really mine.

Jasper and Carlisle exchanged glances.

"We think that my address is already in James' hands," Carlisle said slowly. "That would make it too easy for him to find you. On the other hand though, we all agreed that you should stay a bit close to Darlton. He might find it just as easy to hack into airport reservations and find where you headed if you moved out of state."

There was another glance. I was becoming nervous.

"So?" I demanded finally. "What did you decide?"

Jasper took a deep breath.

"We think you should move in with Edward."


	10. Home

**_A/N:_**

_I am not going to lie to you._

_This chapter is absolute crap._

_I hate it, hate it, HATE IT...but I really wanted to post it, so please feel free to curse at me all you wish._

_I also made a trailer for Wanted. You can watch it here, if you feel so inclined:_

_www(dot)youtube(dot)com(slash)watch?v=2cX3IfVdEU0_

~10~

I was pissed.

No, that was an understatement. If someone had handed me a gun at that moment and told me I was free from the law to do as I wished, I would have immediately turned on Jasper Hale...and I think probably Edward would be next.

He was_ whistling. _A smile played on his lips as he tried to imitate a bird call, all the while giving me smug glances out of the corner of his eye. I was purposefully turned towards the Volvo window, trying my best to ignore him---and the happy gurgles of my traitorous little girl from the back. Apparently, Edward was also popular with the little ladies.

I had tried my best to work my way from under Jasper's little scheme. I wheedled. I pointed out the fact that my father was a damn Police Chief and he wouldn't allow anything to hurt me under his watch. James didn't know my mom's address in Florida, and he sure as hell wouldn't know the exact address, postal code and interior decoration of the police-guarded condo that Woodlock had been arranging for me to move to in the city.

Jasper countered that, for one thing, my father had approved of James for a long time while we were together. For another thing, for all we knew, James could have my mom's address by now, and he sure as hell could hack into the police systems the way he did when he found out I was in Darlton.

I couldn't very well argue with that.

So, here I was, in a car with the man that I thought wouldn't care if I died, with a baby in the back that wasn't actually mine, but I was going to die fighting for.

It was odd how life throws you little curveballs that turn everything around like that.

"Enjoying the view?"

Edward seemed to be set on making me say something. I just huffed. All I could see outside of the window was flat-as-a-pancake land, the same flat farmland that I could have experienced right within Darlton instead of some twenty-odd miles away from it. It had nearly been an hour, and we still hadn't reached Edward's house.

"Nothing I haven't seen," I finally mumbled, hoping he wouldn't take it as some sort of surrender on my part.

"Hmm."

He hummed a random note for a moment, probably mentally recording my response for over-analyzing later in his fortress of solitude. In the years I'd known Edward, I'd vacillitated about what cliche fit him, from radioactive spiders to kryptonite...and bat costumes. Call me a rabid fangirl, but I knew that, despite my hatred of the man, Edward would totally melt Batman's suit.

"You're blushing."

"No, I'm not," I lied, quickly averting my eyes. I shook out my hair so it fell like a curtain around my face, hiding the traitor flush across my cheekbones.

Edward was silent.

"We're going to be living together."

He sounded oddly solemn.

"Yes, apparently we are."

My sarcastic tone was duly ignored.

"I think we need to set down a few base rules, don't you?" He said suddenly, in a hard voice. I glanced up at him, surprised at the sudden 180 in his tone of voice. He was scowling, his grip on the wheel making his knuckles white.

"First off, please stop talking to me like I'm dirt under your shoes. I don't actually like the idea of living together more than you do, but for Jasper's sake, can we both just try to be civil for a few weeks?"

"Excuse me..." I began to protest, but he held up a hand.

"I'm not finished. Let me say my piece."

I huffed again. He ignored me again.

"Second, there will be no going out of the house unless I'm with you. I understand that you have...needs," he winced, presumably at the idea of having to rush to a grocery store for feminine products, "and I will respect them, as well as anything Carly might need as well, but the situation is too dangerous for you to go unaccompanied."

"In case you haven't noticed, Edward," I said icily, "James is my ex. I know him. I know what I'm up against. You don't have to talk down to me like I'm a child."

He mumbled, and I was instantly set aflame.

"What did you say?"

He glared at me.

"I said it certainly doesn't seem like you're grown-up when you actually admit to having stayed with this guy. What, did he promise you every time he hit you that it wasn't going happy again, he just had a bad day? Do you expect that's what he's going to do now?"

I saw red.

"You don't know anything about it," I spat through gritted teeth, my lips trembling. "You don't know anything about the situation, or what I went through, or how I felt."

His face was contorted with anger.

"No, but I know you."

That was the last straw. I turned and began fumbling with the lock, completely ignoring the fact that we were currently speeding down the highway at eighty miles per hour.

"What the hell, Bella?"

Edward's voice was panicked as he pressed on the child safety lock.

"Stop the car," I growled.

"Bella, c'mon...I'm sorry, really I am. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. Damn it."

He pushed a hand through his hair, looking upset.

"I...really...I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry, Bella. Please, sit down and put back on your seatbelt. I don't want to be pulled over for kidnapping you or something."

That didn't actually sound so bad, but I sat back down and sullenly clicked in my belt. Then I turned my head back to the window. Edward just sighed and turned on the radio.

This was going to be one hell of a long ride.

* * *

"Bella...Bella, wake up. We're here."

I mumbled something unintelligable as I opened my eyes. It was cold in the car, and I realized that I could no longer hear Carly behind me. I could feel crusted drool around my mouth, and my hair probably resembled a haystack.

_Ew._

Edward was beside me, his bronze hair glinting in the late afternoon sun. His eyes were oddly gentle as he looked at me.

"I already took the suitcases and Carly into the house. She's asleep, so you don't have to worry about her. You look like you could use some rest yourself."

"I'm...okay," I slurred drunkenly, as I tried to right myself in the seat. It didn't work. I flopped over again. Edward chuckled.

"C'mon, Bella," he whispered, and then, before I could protest, he slung me up in his arms like I weighed nothing more than a rag doll. I automatically clutched around his neck to steady myself. This was familiar.

_Warm hands underneath my body holding me close to his chest....a pair of warm lips brushing against my forehead..._

_"Shh, sweetheart...sleep, my only love."_

"You don't have to do this, Edward," I gasped, still half-asleep, still somewhere lost in the memories.

"It's no problem," he replied, or at least I thought he did. My mind zoned out for a few moments. The next thing I knew, I was lying on my back on a soft feather bed, and Edward was gently prying my fingers off his shirt.

_"Forgive me, Bella..."_

As I fell asleep, I wasn't sure if the words that I heard were a memory, or just a random fragment of a dream.

_"Welcome home..."_


	11. Truce

~11~

Edward's bed smelled like vanilla and lavender. I buried my nose into his pillow and gave a long sniff, sighing with appreciation as the scent tickled my nose. Drowsily, I couldn't help but wonder where Edward was. He never left this early in the morning, not without telling me where he was...I sighed and sank back into the warm coverlet. In the distance, I could hear the slight peal of laughter of a baby...

Baby. Carly.

I gasped and sat straight up in bed. It wasn't the past for me, not anymore. Now I could see the orange walls, not the same dim wood panels of the old Edward's apartment. This was real. I looked around wildly, only to see that the other side of the bed was perfectly neat and unslept in.

I had slept in Edward's bed...so where did he sleep?

I felt a pang of guilt as my mind flashed back to the little argument I had somehow fostered in the car. Edward had actually given up his own room for me, carried me upstairs and...

_Welcome home, Bella._

Had that been a dream or...had he said it?

I raised my hands to my face, trying to cool my flash. I heard the clatter of pans, and then Edward's voice, loud and boisterous, followed by another few peals of laughter from Carly. I had to smile. It seemed that not even Edward was immune to Carly's magic.

I slowly got out of bed, relieved to find that I was still fully clothed, then instantly feeling guilty as I realized I had just undermined Edward's current status as a gentleman.

_He certainly wasn't a gentleman in high school..._

Damn it, another blush. I willed it away and then turned in search for my suitcases. They were already standing by the bed. Apparently, I would have a lot of things to make up to Edward. I hated being in debt, especially to him. He might be trying his best, but he still had a lot to work up to...and there was still a lot to be said.

I sighed and grabbed a random t-shirt and a pair of denim shorts. It was warm in the house, and since Edward's lecture had assured me that I wouldn't see anything besides these four walls if he had anything to do with it, why not? I rinsed off quickly, grateful for the brief shower, and then tried to fix up my hair. After a few minutes of wrestling with the tangles, I gave up and just let it hang loose.

After a rummage into the bag I'd packed for Carly, I galloped downstairs with a diaper and change of clothes in hand. If this Edward was still Edward Masen, I knew enough to know that he'd freak at the idea of a baby pit stop. I stopped dead on the landing of the staircase, astonished.

Edward lived in a freaking mansion.

Even at my position on the curved staircase, I could see glimpses of an elegantly furnished living room, and a foyer that looked like it was transported right out of one of my favorite Austen novels. Timidly, I tiptoed down the rest of the stairs, grateful for the fact that Edward had seemingly whisked away my shoes somewhere during my beauty sleep. Maybe he was scared that I would mess up his rug.

I followed the sounds of cheerful laughter to the kitchen, and stopped dead.

"Good morning," Edward said without turning around. He was standing in front of the stove, baby on his hip and a wooden spoon in his other hand. Carly, looking refreshed in a cute little sailor suit I was sure I hadn't bought, smiled widely and waved her hands at me.

"Hi," I said, dazed. "Um...Did you change her?"

He huffed.

"Of course I changed her, Bella. You can't honestly think I would let her sit in a dirty diaper all night because I was freaked out?"

O-kay...so maybe Edward wasn't ready to be completely courteous this morning. I opened my mouth to say something equally sharp, and then closed it, remembering the rules. Even if he wasn't going to follow them, I was going to show him up by being the most polite I could...even if it killed me.

"Thank you," I said instead, and on his next rotation past me towards the refrigerator, I took Carly from him and set her against my chest. She burbled up at me happily, and I tickled under her chin.

"Hi, Carly. Hi. You're happy today, aren't you? Yes, you are."

A loud smack on the table interrupted me, and Carly and I both jumped. Edward had practically slammed down a platter of eggs and sausages, before he turned back to the stove and started stirring furiously.

"Um...do you need any help?" I offered timidly.

"No."

"I'm sorry I slept in..."

"It's no problem, Bella," he said briskly. "Stop apologizing for things that aren't your fault."

There was a moment of silence, and then he dropped the spoon and sighed heavily, dragging a hand down his face. When he looked at me, his eyes were contrite.

"I'm sorry. I didn't have a good sleep last night, and Carly woke up pretty early. I didn't want to disturb you, so I took care of her for you..."

"Edward," I interrupted him, and I boldly laid a hand on his arm, "it's okay. I appreciate everything you're doing for me. I'm sure you're not enjoying taking care of me because of my own mistakes, but you've brought me into your house and even gave up your sleep and your bed so I could be comfortable. You don't have to apologize for being snippy. It happens to everyone."

Ladies and gentlemen, that was the longest speech I've given to Edward without any bitterness in my voice.

Edward's eyes were fixated on my hand, and then they slowly made their way to my face. It surprised me, again, the way his eyes gentled as he smiled at me.

"It really wasn't a problem, Bella." His face was chagrined again. "I really have to apologize for the way I spoke to you in the car yesterday. It was uncalled for. You were right. I didn't know anything about the situation and I had no right to blow up on you that way."

"It's okay," I said, even though it really wasn't. However, I thought our little moment of peace could last a few minutes longer. "Everyone has those moments."

He smiled at me, the familiar crooked smile, and I smiled back. We just stood there for a moment, my hand still on his arm, until Carly let out a little cry of complaint from where she rested between us. It was the bell that woke us from our spell. Instantly, we sprang apart, looking away awkwardly. I gave a nervous laugh.

"Yeah...um..."

"Um...breakfast?" Edward offered, a hint of the crooked grin crossing over his face.

"Yeah," I breathed, still wondering what happened. "That'd be great."

After we ate quietly, darting looks and away, smiling shyly like two teenagers with a crush, Edward got up to clear the table and I fed Carly her bottle. It was almost...peaceful, and I couldn't help but marvel at a simple little thank you that actually had me and Edward Masen smiling at each other after years.


	12. Pink Elephants, Part 1

**We interrupt this surprising update of Wanted with a few words from the author...**

**Yes, this has taken a long time. To be honest, it wouldn't have taken as long to get this story back on track if it wasn't for my sucky self-esteem. Let's just say that a few reviewers over on Twi'd, and the VB, put a few doubts in my head about the 'credibility' about the plot line.**

**Fortunately for all of us, I have the amazing YellowGlue as my bestie/beta, and she quickly kicked those doubts to the curb. **

**Hopefully, this is the beginning of a new start for Wanted, and hopefully a fantastic finish as well. **

**Big mwahs to Kassiah and EmoryB123, both of which encouraged me to get this story back on track again. **

**(Also, Kassiah pre-read the Wanted outtake, so you can thank her for reminding me to make it citrusy.)**

**Speaking of citrus, the lovely aforementioned Kassiah and I are co-hosting For the Sake of OJward Contest. Even if you don't end up entering, remember to check out the wonderful entries and leave them some love.**

**Okay, then? On with the show.**

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~12~

Breakfast was surprisingly pleasant, albeit awkward and otherwise silent. Carly, of course, couldn't be deterred by the damper in the atmosphere; she babbled and cooed and clapped her chubby little hands, and even Edward laughed when she made a funny face in his direction, squishing her adorable face up like she smelled something rotten.

She was such a little flirt; not even Edward could resist her charm for long. That made me smile, even though part of me also felt a little sad. I understood very well his slight hesitation to let Carly in. It was something that I had fought myself during the years that we were apart.

The relief of the truce between us, however, wasn't enough to keep my worries away for long. Edward cleared the table efficiently as I fed Carly her bottle, which unfortunately left me with more than a little time to chew over the issues facing me at the moment.

First of all: James. Just the thought of him raised the hairs on my arms, unearthing memories in my mind that I had never wanted to face again. The idea that he could be roaming, a free man – something that my father and Jasper had promised me constantly during those first months of pain and turmoil, would never happen again, was beyond frightening.

_ And to think that it might not be true…_

"They aren't even sure what prisoner managed to break out that night," Edward explained to me softly. We were sitting in the living room, surrounded by the suitcases and belongings I hadn't considered sorting out yet. Carly slumbered in my arms, her little face blissful. I pushed a curl out of her face, and wondered if she was dreaming.

She was so lucky: to be innocent, to have a blank slate for a mind, still waiting to marked. If I had my way, her mind would hold only sweet, happy memories – memories of a mother who loved her, aunts and uncles who doted on her, kind grandfathers and a grandmother who would spoil her rotten.

It was everything she deserved, and I hoped to God that I would be so lucky to keep her, and make all of it come true.

My brow furrowed as Edward's words finally sank in.

"But…I thought it was a given," I stammered out after a moment.

Edward just shook his head.

"It appears that security in the prison, unfortunately, hasn't been as strict as we were previously led to believe. I found out from the Sheriff that the only evidence that James could be the escaped convict is a blurry photograph taken by one of the security cameras. The prison is currently on a lockdown while they wait for more backup to assess the situation. Right now, we don't have any more information to go on."

I swallowed hard, a lump forming in my throat. For some reason, the idea that it could be another criminal, other than the man who had brought me so much pain and heartache, didn't help to soothe my frayed nerves. There was too much of a percentage toward the option that I didn't want to think about.

There could be another man out there – scruffy, desperate, perhaps with his sights on a girl who lies awake at night trying to banish her nightmares, forget the screams and the blood and the loss.

Another girl like me.

Was it wrong of me that I wanted it to not be James? Was I wronging that unknown girl, or woman, or family who had suffered at this convict's hands, with my wish?

I hadn't realized I was biting my lip still until Edward reached forward tentatively.

"Uh, Bella? You're bleeding."

I stared at him dazedly, before the words snapped into place and my tongue swiped across the tattered flesh, tasting the salty rust.

"Oh! Um…"

I covered my mouth with my hand, as Edward awkwardly fumbled with the contents spread across the table beside him, finally coming up with a bedraggled tissue.

"Thanks," I blushed as I pressed the fluffy white paper to my lip. It came back crimson with blood. My stomach lurched, and I quickly pressed it into place, looking back at Edward. He was still staring at my mouth, his eyes glassy and unfocused.

Something in my heart constricted as I realized what he must be remembering – all the times when my klutzy feet had gotten the best of me and I'd fallen, scraped up my knees or gotten a bloody nose. He'd always been there when I needed him, ready to offer consolation and an ice pack.

Once, when I'd tripped during Art class and torn up my lip, he'd kissed away the blood.

I swallowed hard, forced myself to look away from the intensity of his gaze. He snapped back to attention, face full of chagrin.

"Oh! Ugh, Bella, I'm sorry, I…" He stopped abruptly. The pink elephant between us seemed to take up the room. It was enough of a confirmation to me that he still remembered our times back then…even if I hadn't been important enough for him to stay.

He pushed his hand through his hair, and I bit down on my lip – ending up with a mouthful of tissue specks.

"Um, another tissue?" He offered lamely. I took it, and then finally mustered enough courage to look him in the eye. The memories were gone now, leaving behind a pair of sad (guilty?) green eyes that pierced my heart.

Not enough for me to forgive, and forget.

Never enough for that.

"So how long is this arrangement going to last?" I asked softly.

He looked startled.

"Excuse me?"

I looked from his face, to the beauty of the room around us – embroidered throw rugs, genuine leather couches – everything that as two lonely students, trying our best to cling to each other in the midst of our collapsing dreams, we could have only imagined.

He had it all.

And I still didn't have him.

An ember of anger started to smolder within me. _So, this was how it was going to be?_ He was going to throw me a bone – his pathetic ex-girlfriend with her farmhouse and her cows as company, and the little sweet baby that eventually would be taken away from me too. It was his job, after all. I couldn't expect that, even if he felt sorry for me, he would let me keep Carly.

She wasn't mine, just like happiness wasn't meant to be mine.

The words just spewed out of me.

"How long are you going to let me stay here? A day? Another hour until you get tired of giving me largess and kick me to the curb? Honestly, Edward, if you're looking for some sort of absolution, just ask me. I forgive you for leaving me. I understand that keeping me around wasn't much to live for, and everyone has to move on after some point, right?"

His eyes widened as I rose to my feet, still shouting, only half-paying attention to the fact that Carly was stirring where I'd placed her on the cold leather sofa. _Great. I must really be giving an example of the perfect mother._

"Bella," Edward began, reaching out for me.

I shied away.

"No, Edward!" My voice dropped, my throat feeling hoarse and worn. All of me just felt old and tired, like a piece of clothing repeatedly put through the wash, but never cleaned. I'd never be me again, that Bella who was constantly optimistic and could look to the future with some semblance of hope.

Everything in me was broken.

Edward watched me carefully, probably waiting to see if there was another outburst on the horizon. When I sagged forward, he was there, wrapping his arms around me. I wanted to fight away his affection, all of this with it too – the possibility of James, the little baby who had attached herself to my heart, and especially him.

Warm, sweet Edward, who pressed his lips against my forehead as I began to sob.

"I hate this," I moaned. "I hate this, I hate this, I _hate_ this."

He didn't tell me that he knew. He didn't try to stop me. He just held me, the way that he used to, until the loud, broken sobs melted away into soft sniffles, and sense returned to my head.

_Carly._

_ My baby._

"Edward," I snuffled into his shirt, ready to apologize, even though part of me didn't really mean it.

He sighed a soft, defeated sort of sound.

"Bella. I owe you a talk. Well, I owe you a lot of things – but the talk needs to come first."

That didn't sound good.


	13. FGB PASTTAKE: NEEDED

**This was a past-take that I offered in FGB, won by the lovely mistresselektra. However, if you really want someone to thank, it's Kassiah, for convincing me to write an M-rated snippet of Edward and Bella's complicated past.**

**I'm hoping that this outtake is the key to finishing up the fic and the loose ends I haven't been able to figure out. **

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* * *

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It was over something stupid.

I couldn't remember what. God, now that it was dawning on me that I'd let him storm out of the apartment – not even looking back at me, just grabbing a jacket off the rack, even though it was raining outside and wet and he could catch a cold so easily – I could barely think at all.

It was a snippy remark, maybe, or I rolled my eyes – that always set him off so easily. He didn't like it when I did that. He called it "false armor," covering up my real thoughts with sassy back-talk instead of confiding in him, the way a relationship's supposed to be.

But I didn't talk. At least, I couldn't talk about it, right now, with him. I was too scared to.

I love Edward.

Edward Masen.

The Edward who used to sneak into my bed every night.

The Edward who tore a rift between me and my best friend – my boyfriend.

The Edward who took my virginity on Prom Night in a haze of drunken lust and almost-love.

The Edward who kissed me every night and tells me he'd die to protect me, so help him God.

The Edward who just snapped at me, telling me he couldn't do this anymore, and stormed out of our apartment into a thunderstorm.

God.

I sat on the couch, my arms wrapped around my chest. I should have closed the blinds a while ago, but instead I left them open, exposing the lightning splitting the gray sky like a giant scar, the rain pelting down into the parking lot.

The Volvo's absence was hideously obvious.

What was I going to do now?

What if this time was the last time and he really wouldn't come home tonight?

What would happen to me then?

Tears began to well up at the corners of my eyes. I wiped them away angrily.

"For God's sake, Bella Swan, don't turn into a drama queen, not now. It's your fault anyway."

I managed to pull myself together enough to dial his cell phone. It's still off. He always turned it off on our nights together, so we could share time without outside sources trying to tear us apart: his parents, my dad, my friends.

It seemed like pretty much everything going wrong right now tipped the scales in my direction.

I stared down at the phone, barely aware of the dial tone ringing in my ears.

Who should I call? Who would he go to right now?

With a snarl of frustration, I threw the handset at the floor. It bounced harmlessly off the shaggy carpet.

"Damn," I muttered, burying my face in my hands. "Damn, damn, damn."

I raised my face for a moment and looked around the room, almost childishly. It was stupid and immature, especially considering the situation, but I was pretty sure I was going to explode if I didn't let out the emotions some way.

There was no one to see – no one but me, and my big mouth that had gotten me into this situation in the first place.

Quietly, I whispered, "_Shit_."

As though someone up there heard me (and wasn't happy with what they heard), a loud clap of thunder echoed through the darkened apartment. I closed my eyes and covered my ears. The sound seemed to magnify the guilt, the pain, the secret that hung onto my lips, festering there like a sore, waiting to burst and spew pus and contaminate my perfect life.

I opened my eyes, blurry with tears. I could already feel the snot running down my face.

And there he was.

For a moment, I thought I'd conjured him up. It wouldn't be the first time, considering our painful, twisted history together. He just stood there in the open doorway, the hallway illuminated behind him in harsh fluorescent bulbs. Water dripped from his hair, his jacket, pooling up on the linoleum.

I didn't care.

I didn't give a damn.

My lips parted. I wanted to say I was sorry, to beg him to please, don't go, to tell him that I loved him and I was sorry I was such an ungrateful…stupid degrading word for a woman.

"Edward," was all that came out, in a hoarse, desperate croak. I stared at him imploringly, opening my arms.

And that was all it took.

Something seemed to deflate in him. He slumped forward like a marionette whose strings had been cut. In the darkness, his green eyes glowed, almost cat-like.

"Bella," he almost groaned, and then he was holding me. The door was wide open. Any of the neighbors could pass by, get curious and try to sneak a peek, but neither of us cared. He was holding me, and I sobbed gratefully into the cotton of his hoodie.

"I'm sorry, Edward," I wailed. "I'm so, so sorry. I hurt you! I didn't mean to hurt you!"

He should have yelled at me. I probably would have, if the situation was turned around. I would rail at him and beat him with my fists and throw all his apologies back in his face.

Edward held me. He kissed the top of my head and rocked me back and forth in his arms like a child.

"Shh, baby," he crooned into my hair. "Hush, sweet thing. I'm here. I'm here. Shh."

I snuffled as I pulled away, rubbing at my eyes so I could see his face better. He sounded close to tears himself, full of love and regret and compromise, but I wanted to see for himself.

I wanted to make sure Edward still loved me.

He stared at me as I sat back on my heels, awkwardly, my bare feet sliding against the leather of the couch. He was kneeling on the floor in front of me, still dripping wet, his hair dark and sopping. His eyes smoldered with emotion, his fists clenched at his sides.

In that moment, he was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, and the idea of him leaving me made me burst into irrational, loud, honking sobs all over again.

Edward's face was that of utter panic.

"Oh, Bella!" He threw his arms around me, patting me, kissing me, trying to calm me down. I was probably making a scene, but I was beyond composure. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, baby. I shouldn't have left. We should have talked it out. I was – Jesus, I…I was angry and I, I just needed a smoke so bad."

He pulled back for a moment, leaving one hand to awkwardly pat the small of my back, running it through his hair before he realized it was wet and water flowed down his face in little rivulets.

"I – I'm sorry," I managed. "I was such a…"

I hesitated, then, throwing caution to the wind, I burst out, "I was such a goddamn_ bitch_ to you!"

Edward's eyes bulged. His jaw fell slack. In any other situation, his expression might have been comical. I didn't find it funny now.

When he regained his composure, he drew me in. I quieted down slightly, still snorting in. I was sure I looked a complete mess, snot and tears mixing together and running down my face – probably all over his shirt too.

I would have to worry about that later.

"It was stupid, sweet girl," he murmured. "Couples fight over stupid things. It happens. Even the best of couples get into scrapes now and then."

There was a pause as he let this sink in. All that could be heard was the slow tick of the clock, and the steady patter of the rain beating against the windows. Our plates of food, still heaping, lukewarm, sat silent and abandoned on the table. It was nearly dark, now that the lightning didn't provide illumination. Edward didn't seem to notice. He pulled back, and let his hands rest on my face.

"I would never leave you like that, Bella," he said, voice full of conviction and love and warmth that made everything in my body tingle. "I love you. You are my life now. No one else matters except you, and making sure that you are safe, and happy. I would never, ever leave you without giving you a reason – or unless I was forced to leave you."

His voice turned dark, but I wasn't willing to go into another emo fest. One of us crying and throwing a pity party was enough. My mind was still stuck on his words, in particular that little, but so strong, phrase.

_I love you._

"I love you too," I whispered, my voice still a little clogged from tears. "And I am so, honestly – "

His fingers rested against my lips. There was a clap of thunder, and then a streak of lightning, and in that brief moment of light, I saw he was smiling my favorite crooked grin.

"Save those for when you do something really stupid," he chuckled. "Like crash the Volvo, or something."

That was a joke. Like he'd ever let me get within three feet of the ignition for his precious soccer-mom knockoff.

I settled against his chest and sighed. Now that it was all said and done, I felt a little stupid. The heat rose to my cheeks as my mind replayed the irrational tears and loud outburst I'd just demonstrated.

Damn. Way to look like a mature, independent woman, Bella.

"Edward…" I began, and then nearly choked on my own words as his hand gently glided through my hair. The sentence broke off into a soft mew as his fingers separated the tangled strands gently, massaging my scalp, caressing down to my neck and the stiff muscles of my back.

"You're all tense," he murmured, and something in me prickled to life. His tone was low, wild, rich honey drizzling onto my senses.

He was trying to dazzle me.

And it was working.

My tears were forgotten. Another emotion was waking up, and it wanted to play.

"Hmm," I mumbled, melting into him, letting his hands work their magic on me. I should be putting up some line of defense, playing 'hard to get' like the experts advised in Cosmo – "working up your man to whet the sexual appetite", or some equally tawdry but appealing catch phrase that supposedly did wonders for your intimate relationship.

Right now, though, I couldn't care less. My man was playing me like a piano, and I was responding just the way he wanted.

And he knew it.

"Bella?" He hummed near my ear. His lips, soft velvet, touched against the hollow of my throat. I gave an involuntary sigh, leaning into him, letting my hands fan out over his chest, feeling his muscles. Even though I'd never admit it to him, Edward's build had been kind of a deal breaker when he first asked me out. There was nothing like your boyfriend holding you and being able to feel up his six-pack.

"Weren't you going to ask me something?" He prompted, his voice full of rich humor. I could feel the smile against my all too sensitive skin. He enjoyed this. He always had – the way that I couldn't help but react to the way he touched me, the way our bare skin slid together, the sound of his voice when he wanted me.

It was cocky, irritating, but the fact that his ego still had to be placated with such little details was also endearing – just another reason why I couldn't imagine my life with anyone else but this man.

"You asshole," I accused, finally reconnecting my brain to my limbs long enough to smack him on his arm. "Stop that."

He raised one eyebrow innocently. He looked so freaking hot when he did that, and all I wanted to do was stop the talking and start the sexing up.

"Stop what?"

I gave up. What use was it to fight it? With a little frustrated huff, I nudged myself close into him and kissed him again. He responded hungrily.

One of the good, and sometimes bad, things about Edward was that he was so impatient. We either did it now, or we did it never. The latter option rarely ever happened, unless I was in a pissy mood and didn't feel like playing by his rules.

Edward was unbuttoning my blouse, his head still nuzzling and kissing my neck. I just leaned back, moaning every time he touched a spot that was really sensitive, stroking my fingers through his hair –

And then I remembered.

Crap.

"Edward," I protested weakly. "The dinner – it's going to get spoiled."

Edward mumbled something incomprehensible from between my breasts. His stubble scratched against the tender skin. I gave a little whimper, ready to just concede the battle to him and let myself melt into a nice, overheated pile of Bella mush –

But the idea of all that food getting wasted, the time and the money…

"Edward," I snapped, pulling hard on his bronze hair until he raised his head up to look at me. His eyes were unfocused, dazed, like he'd just taken a shot of coke or something. I sighed. Sometimes I wondered if Edward was just horny all the time or if he was a sex addict.

Not that I was complaining or anything.

He just stared at me blankly for a moment, but I could see the laughter hiding behind his green eyes. I rolled my eyes.

"Ugh. Let me up."

That seemed to startle him. In Edward's head, I guessed it never occurred to him that his unbuttoned, squirming girlfriend could easily readjust herself and saunter to the kitchen before he even recovered.

I heard a low groan of disappointment behind me as I casually uncovered the plates, smiling to myself. There was no way that food was the foremost thing on my mind, not right now at least.

But Edward didn't have to know that.

"Do you want anything to drink?" I announced, still carefully ignoring his irritated gaze. "Water, orange juice, soda? I think I have one of your unfinished bottles of Emmett's homemade crap somewhere in the bottom shelf of the fridge."

I had to smirk when Edward grunted something in response. He was just too easy.

It was silent for a few moments as I poured two glasses of water, taking my time as I did so. When I turned around, Edward was leaning against the table. I wasn't sure if he was sulking. His face was blank again, and his hand rested across his stomach – his pensive pose.

Yup, definitely sulking.

"Edward," I cooed, "sit down. The food's going to get cold."

He didn't look at me as I slid the glasses on the table and sat down at my own plate. After a moment, staring at my coagulated noodles, I got a little worried.

_Did I push the envelope a little too far?_

"Edward?" I whispered.

For a moment, the silence seemed to loom, tense and heavy. And then, Edward seemed to unfurl. His face livened up. He actually smiled, that crooked grin that always got to me.

Something tensed up in my stomach, something warning me.

_He recovered too quickly._

If there was one thing that Edward always did, without fail, he sulked. He could be the most mature man in the world at times, standing up to defend me, that fierce 'protect my woman' look on his face that made me melt and my panties drop.

Literally.

But when it came to not getting his way, Edward could push out his lower lip and pout like a three-year-old.

A sexy three-year-old with five o'clock shadow and a six-pack.

"I'm fine," he said – no, he _purred_. I squirmed in my seat, just feeling my panties getting wet. Damn. He was _good_.

"Why don't I help you with that, baby?"

Before I could blink, he was there beside me, holding a fork with a mess of tomato-coated, gooey noodles wrapped around the prongs. It hardly looked appetizing, or romantic, which was the whole atmosphere I'd been going for with the food – you know, Lady and the Tramp, candlelight, splitting the last meatball?

But the look in his eyes –

The only thing I could think was, _I'm screwed._

At least, I hoped I would be.

With the ball pretty much in Edward's court now, I couldn't be sure.

I tried to keep my game face on as he nudged the fork closer to my mouth. Eating, or the act thereof, wasn't exactly the sexiest action in the world – at least, when it came to me. I opened my lips as small as possible, letting the fork slip in, and closed them around the prongs.

The noodles were bland, almost tasteless, forming a lump in my mouth that I tried to chew as best as I could. But Edward was still looking at me, and he was smirking, and I knew that I couldn't let him get away with this.

So, I closed my eyes.

And I moaned.

"Mm…" I hummed from between my lips, trying my best to put all the passion that I did when Edward was touching me. By the way I felt the air stiffen, and heard the sharp intake of his breath, I was pretty sure that was what he was thinking of too.

And that simple sound was just what I needed to snap Edward Masen's control.

"Game over," he snarled, and before I could even swallow – much less blink – he yanked me up out of the chair, right against him so I could feel every bulge of muscle. If his eyes were smoldering before, they were blazing with green fire now, and one single promise.

_I am going to ravage you. And there's nothing you can do about it._

"Edward," I breathed as his lips closed over mine. His hands seemed to be everywhere, before they settled on my behind and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist effortlessly; some muddled part of me was grateful that I could do something right.

Then, we were moving. I couldn't tell where; he was sucking on my lower lip, giving a little moan as my hands yanked on his hair. It was a mutual fetish that both of us loved to indulge.

It wasn't until I felt myself settling down on something firm, and smelling the familiar scent of the couch's leather, that my eyes flew open.

Edward leaned over me, placing all his weight on his hands on either side of my head. His eyes were still fierce, wanting, but his mouth was a gentle line.

"Hi," he said softly.

I smiled, letting my hands rack through his hair more gently.

"Hey."

"I'm sorry."

My head shot up and my eyes widened as I stared at him searchingly. He wasn't smiling, but his face was soft, vulnerable, waiting for my response.

"Edward," I whispered, feeling my throat choke up. "Edward…it was never your fault."

He shook his head, his hair falling over his forehead making him look younger than he really was. It all hit me again, how hard this must be on Edward – always being shuffled from home to home, finally being able to settle down, actually being wanted for once in his life…

And then he met me.

"Bella, sweet girl," he sighed, already reading my face. His hand rested against my cheek. "It's not your fault, either. It's never your fault. Hey, hey, hey," he cooed, as I sniffled, the traitor tears already swelling up again in my eyes, "baby, I love you. I – love – you. Nothing else matters. This crappy place, the money issues, your parents – they're all temporary issues. In the end, it's me and you against the world. Remember that."

I half-laughed, half-sobbed.

"God, Edward. You actually sounded like some Disney movie."

Edward laughed with me.

"Yeah, who knew you could actually learn from that shit?"

For a moment, we just stared at each other. Edward leaned forward and rested his forehead against mine.

"Bella."

"Edward."

"Is the mood completely ruined? Because I'm still horny."

I rolled my eyes, leaning up on my elbows to try and push him off me.

"Ugh. You only think of one thing, don't…"

In one swift moment, he trapped me underneath him, staring at me intently. Sweet Comforting Edward had officially left the building.

Horny Ravaging Edward was back.

"You interrupted me before, when I was doing this," he purred, and then he leaned forward and kissed me. With a sigh, I melted into him.

_Giving up a fight? Who, me?_

His hands deftly unbuttoned my blouse, moving it aside so that he could see…

"Damn, Bella," he chuckled against my mouth. "You're a rebel tonight, aren't you?"

I blushed.

I _would_ have to forget my bra. How had that happened? I got on my jeans, and then the timer went off, so then…

My train of thought completely ground to a halt as Edward's palm pressed over my breast.

"Um," I mumbled, trying to organize my thoughts. Something about Edward –the touch of his skin, the callused pads of his fingertips – seemed to radiate through my nerve endings. He tweaked my nipple, playfully, and I arched into him.

"You're extremely responsive tonight," he murmured in my ear. "It's really…arousing."

All I could do was whimper, and then I gasped out loud as his mouth closed over my breast. His tongue laved at it, and then – with one green eye winking mischievously at me – he sucked, hard.

I cried out, and then clamped my lips together, flushing with embarrassment as a raspy chuckle floated towards my ears.

"Asshole," I accused, but it lost most of its bite when I felt his fingers unbuckling my jeans and yanking down my legs.

"You love it, baby," he retorted smugly, staring at my panties. They were plain, schoolgirl 'Day of the Week' – Monday. It was Saturday night.

I flushed again.

Edward, surprisingly, didn't say anything. He just licked along the seam, making me shiver, before he yanked those off too.

I squeezed my eyes shut tight. If the panties were embarrassing, this was beyond the seventh circle of Hades. I never understood Edward's obsession with my…female bits, for lack of a better term. Regardless, that didn't mean I had to watch him while he was at it.

I wouldn't.

"Edward!" I cried out as he slid his finger in, my eyes instantly flying open. That was something that couldn't be ignored. He smirked up at me, his eyes half-lidded, but I could tell his teeth were gritted.

"Damn, baby. You're so _wet_."

I whimpered, not able to say anything, just holding on to his shoulders like he was my lifeline. I was never more grateful that Edward had convinced me to accept Rose and Emmett's hand-me-down couch – even though, taking the size of the black monstrosity in hand, I was pretty sure their activities involving it had rivaled our own.

Not a very pleasant thought.

Edward fumbled with his jeans with one hand. I leaned up enough to help him, tossing off the jacket, and then his shirt, in a messy heap on the floor.

I'd worry about that later.

Like tomorrow.

He kicked off his jeans onto the pile, and turned his attention back to me. I could feel his cock – hard, fully aroused, brushing up against me intimately. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on breathing.

"Bella," he said, and I looked at him. He was breathing heavily, his eyes wild and needy. "If I hurt you, in any way, tell me."

It was what he always said, even though I knew that Edward would never hurt me. In that moment, he wasn't my irresistible lover, the man who was about to ravish me. He was just my Edward.

My boyfriend.

My love.

My eyes softened, and I reached up to touch his cheek.

"I need you, baby," I whispered. I knew he wouldn't be able to deny me anything. "Please."

He closed his eyes, and he groaned.

"Jesus, Bella."

And then, he slid into me, in one quick rush. I gasped, arching myself up into him, and he gave a little grunt as he buried his face into my neck. For a moment, we just held still, adjusting, feeling each other. He was hard and warm inside me. It was a feeling I never would be able to get used to.

"Everything good?" He mumbled against my skin.

"Oh yeah," I breathed back.

He leaned up over me, giving another grunt as he slid out, and then pushed back in.

"Ungh," I moaned as I rocked against him. "Edward."

"So…good," he mumbled back. "Bella?"

"Edward?"

"Why…are…we still…talking?"

My eyes rolled into the back of my head as he gave another well-timed push. He was being too slow, damnit!

"Edward?"

"Mmm..."

I yanked his face closer to mine.

"Shut the fuck up and take me, _hard_."

His eyes snapped. Abruptly, he slid out of me. I cried out from the loss.

"What the…"

Before I could finish, he was already hitching my legs around his waist. I gasped loudly as he shoved back in.

"Edward!"

"Better?" He snarled as he took me again, harder. I couldn't even breathe. The walls seemed to be closing in. Sweat poured down my face and mixed with the drops beading up on his bare chest. I just stared at him, the way that his teeth clenched together, the hard glint of his eyes.

My boyfriend was a sex god.

The pit of my stomach tensed up. I could feel it, that bend around the corner, that light at the end of the tunnel, just waiting for me to reach it. If Edward could just hit that spot…

"I'm so close," I whimpered.

"I know, baby, I know," he rasped in my ear.

He pulled out.

And then he slammed back into me.

And he hit –

Right.

There.

"Oh, God!" I screamed, burying my hands in his hair as he shook above me. "Edward!"

White sparks of light danced behind my eyes as I came, harder than I ever could remember. There was a moment's silence as the tension flowed out of my body, leaving me like a limp noodle, before Edward snarled my name as he came, pulsing in me, filling me with liquid heat.

"Umph," I grunted as he collapsed on top of me. "Edward. Too heavy."

"That was very romantic," his voice, too tired for the teasing edge, came from above me. But he turned us over so I was on his chest.

I snuggled closer and he kissed my forehead.

It was at moments like these, after we'd made love and was sweaty and sated, that it really sunk in how much I needed Edward in my life – to live, to breathe, to laugh with and make love to and fight so we could have amazing make-up sex.

And, like a club over my head, the news that had changed my mood, that had started the spark that caused our fight in the first place, hit me.

Edward felt when I stiffened. His hand had been stroking through my hair, untangling the curls. He loved my messy 'afterglow' look – some male possessive trait that I never could understand.

"Bella?"

"Edward," I swallowed hard around the lump in my throat, "I'm sorry."

He relaxed.

"Bella, baby, I told you. We fight, and we make up. It doesn't matter what it's about, just as long as we get past it. We're a team, you and me."

He squeezed me a little closer, chuckling. He was trying his best to be reassuring, but the easy tone of his voice just worried me even more.

Would he really still tell me that, after I told him the news?

Would he still want me?

"Bella?" He asked, after a few moments passed and I was still silent. "Love, what's bothering you? You've been odd all day. You know you can tell me anything, right?"

Tears pricked the corners of my eyes.

Please be right, Edward. Please.

"Edward," I whispered. "Edward, I love you."

He waited.

"Edward."

I swallowed again.

"Edward, I'm pregnant."

* * *

See that little button down there? You know what to do. :)


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